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Friday, September 28, 2012

REFlections on a REFreshingly REFined Thursday Night Football Game

Finally. The Thursday Night Curse is over. Thank you Jimmy the Weasel. Thank you Union Refs. And thank you ATS-covering Cleveland Browns.

When Marco's living room erupted in cheers, elated profanities, and high fives between this evening's Cleveland Browns fans (Marco and me), my wife came running into the room.
"Did the Browns win?" she asked excitedly.
"Oh, God no," I said, "But they only lost by seven."

Instead of words, she gave me a look which silently conveyed that although she was happy I'd found a passion in my life, she would never truly understand gambling. I returned a similar look silently responding that although I'd be happy to explain it to her again, I'd be much happier if we could just leave things the way they are. I kind of like that she hates football, because I'm kind of an anti-social asshole when I'm gambling.

Anyway, how about those spread-covering dogs from Cleveland? With the close loss this evening, they have now moved into first place in the AFC North ATS standings. If the playoffs were to start today they would be looking at losing an opening round Wild Card game by less than 7.5 points. This team is not to be bet against, and with all the youth on their team I wouldn't be surprised in the least if they started winning games straight up.

As for tonight's game - if it weren't for gambling and the return of the Union Refs, I would never have pirated the NFL Network from my neighbor's satellite. Here they are in no particular order:

Top Five Reasons It's Good to Have Union Refs Back:

                               

5. As I mentioned, it gave me a reason to tune in last night, to watch these formerly hated villains walk into a hostile M & T Bank Stadium to a round of applause. They looked and probably felt like rock stars. They're certainly getting paid like them now. There's plenty of money to go around in the NFL, but the next time I hear someone whine about "part-time" teachers and all their vacation time, I'll point out the $3000/hour NFL refs now get for their 60 hour year. I know they probably have to do book tours and make the occasional charity appearance.

4. Seeing players get fired up about a penalty, start to approach a ref and complain, then have four teammates quickly surround them and remind them how much worse it was last Sunday. The only people who will miss the Replacement Refs are Golden Tate and Justin Tucker.

3. Having the game and the line decided by a good call late in the game. Instead of sixteen yellow pass interference flags thrown when Joe Flacco almost completed a pass to Jacoby Jones near the end zone, the play was brought back near the line of scrimmage on a defensive holding call. The result - a Ravens punt and a Browns cover. Awesome.

2. In addition to good calls, games will also be decided in less than five hours. Monday Night showed us that the NFL was likely headed towards Instant Replay for Instant Replay and sentences like, "Seattle is challenging the challenge of the review of the last play."

1. And last but not least, being a huge fan of the Lingerie League, I'm really excited to have our real refs back in the league, because let's face it - those scabs were ruining the game.

Stay tuned. Sunday looks like it's going to be a lot of fun.

Vinny and Marco



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