The time has come for Marco and I put our money where our mouths are and start delivering on our promise of gambling success. Get your debit cards, pink slips, and property deeds ready, this is our first guaranteed lock of the year. And by guaranteed lock, we pretty much mean it's a toss up.
In an attempt to be at least partially bi-partisan, we offer you this:
Why The Boys Will Win
1. Jerry Jones, the new spokesman for Papa John's Pizza, has developed some insane rapping skills that have not only rejuvenated his career but now serve as impromptu pre-game inspirational speeches.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ek8cVsd_oi4
This is the first rap song to climb to the top of the Fort Worth music charts since Deion Sanders released his debut album back in 1994 with hits such as "Time for Prime," Prime Keeps on Ticking," "House of Prime," and the more soulful B Siders "Prime After Prime," "Prime Is On My Side," "Feels Like the First Prime," and of course, "Prime to Get Ill."
This is the first rap song to climb to the top of the Fort Worth music charts since Deion Sanders released his debut album back in 1994 with hits such as "Time for Prime," Prime Keeps on Ticking," "House of Prime," and the more soulful B Siders "Prime After Prime," "Prime Is On My Side," "Feels Like the First Prime," and of course, "Prime to Get Ill."
2. The NY Giants are notoriously slow starters, often nominated as the Big Disappointment of the first half before rattling off seven of eight wins in dramatic, fourth quarter, come-from-behind fashion. This year Coughlin has started rumors that he's on The Hot Seat already in hopes of motivating his players from the get-go.
3. Sorry, Cowboy fans, but that's pretty much all they have going for them right now - except if you count the fact that Dez Bryant is on Marco's fantasy team, which apparently means he's going to "go off for like eight touchdowns."
Why the G-Men Will Win
1. They are way better on defense. And offense. And special teams. And they don't have a gaping hole in their O-line that will prevent their running back from getting anywhere.
2. If that's not enough, how about the Curse of Tony Romo's Hot WAG?
I know some people - like Marco - think that Eli Manning's wife is hot, too, but her Wonderlic score is much higher than Mrs. Romo, effectively nullifying the influence her attractiveness will have on this game.
3. If you need real stats, how about Dallas's 0-6 ATS last year against division opponents, while the Giants are 6-0 ATS against The Boys over the past three years. Yes, the games are often close, but not close enough for people to win money betting on Dallas.
Sure, I'm tweaking the stats a bit, ignoring the fact that the Giants were 3-5 ATS at home last year or that they were a pedestrian 3-6-1 when favored, but keep in mind when you're reading any of us bullshit artists, that's what we do. We build cases that make our picks look undeniably right.
Last week Marco's brother tried to pull that statistic magic on me saying, "Hey Vinny, did you know that 90% of shark attacks happen in shallow water?" I looked at him and said, "No shit, Sherlock. That's where all the people are. It's called a fucking beach."
Last week Marco's brother tried to pull that statistic magic on me saying, "Hey Vinny, did you know that 90% of shark attacks happen in shallow water?" I looked at him and said, "No shit, Sherlock. That's where all the people are. It's called a fucking beach."
What does he think sharks are going to wait around for people to swim to Europe? Ridiculous.
So, all that being said, our very first 2012 NFL Week 1 Pick ATS (all caps for Google profiling) is to take a medium amount of your annual betting stipend and place it on the New York Giants to win and cover.
Final Score: 31 -24
Vinny and Marco
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