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Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Gambling Strategy #463

"Give a man a fish, feed him for a day. Teach a man to gamble, feed him for a lifetime. Or quite possibly destroy everything that was once good and sacred in his life."  - Marco's homeless Uncle Gino "Socrates" DeSilva.

Ahhh, what a difference a week makes.

Week 1: 8-8 ATS
Week 2: 11-5 ATS

Here at The Spread Zone we are always striving to increase our NFL knowledge, our behind the scenes understanding of the gambling industry, and our conception of human psychology in order to dominate our weekly football pool and provide you with astonishingly accurate weekly picks ATS.

Unlike the abundance of dollar-driven gambling sites out there, luring you into their Top Secret-Insider-Special-VIP-You're-Our-BFF Picks with a 100% guarantee on the likes of the Chargers over the Titans, we not only provide you with all of our resources for free, but also endeavor to teach you a thing or two about the incomparable waste of time that is compulsive gambling.

As you've probably experienced trying to handicap NFL games, there are approximately 650,000 strategies at your disposal. Most will earn you the likes of our Week 1, a small few will get you Week 2, and the rest will only glean disappointment and sometimes broken legs. Nonetheless, Marco and I are always looking to better our system, improve our results, and fortify The Spread Zone's shot at NFL Rookie Blog of the Year Award at this year's FABAS (Fake Acadamy of Blogs Award Show).

And so - drum roll please - we present to you (and this is how it really went this week):

Gambling Strategy #463

STEP 1:
Take out an NFL schedule for the week and without looking at the Vegas lines scroll down each match-up and decided one of two things:

A) If there is a team in the match-up you believe will win no matter how large the spread
B) If you'll take the points no matter who gets them

This week that might look like this

Giants vs Panthers - We'll take the points
Rams vs Bears - Points again
Jaguars vs Colts - We like the Colts no matter what

STEP 2: With your gambling partner - please remember that friends don't let friends gamble alone -  look at the Vegas lines to determine what your picks will be according to STEP 1. Discuss differences and come to potential resolutions.

STEP 3: Open up about seventeen windows on your computer to research all of the potential ATS stats, "expert" opinions, gambling site rankings, and other useless craps that may or may not influence the outcome of the games.

STEP 4: Change several picks.

STEP 5: Change several picks back.

STEP 6: Rinse and repeat.

STEP 7: If you're lucky enough to have a wife and kids, check in with them to make sure they still live with you. If they do, return to STEP 6 and work your way back up.

At the end of all of that, we have the utmost certainty that we are now looking at a 16-0 week, beginning with our Thursday Night Special: New York Giants @ Carolina Panthers.

As we promised our two fans, all of our Week 3 Picks ATS will be available tomorrow afternoon before the first game kicks off.

See you then,

Vinny and Marco





2 comments:

  1. Car31 giants27 and i'm your 3rd member lol MADMAX

    ReplyDelete
  2. Smart pick. Thanks for checking us out - and good luck this weekend.

    ReplyDelete