Monday Morning Quarterback: NFL Week 1 Recap

What do Aaron Hernandez and The Spread Zone have in common? We both took it in the pooper yesterday. The main difference is at the end of the day my wife said, "Don't worry honey. I know it's hurts, but you'll turn it around next week," while his new wife said, "Don't worry bro, I know it's hurts, so I'll turn you around next week."


   I'm just kidding - he's never leaving jail.

Ahhhhhh, there's nothing like good old-fashioned prison rape jokes to take the edge off a bad week. If there's anyone who nailed their picks, their pool, their pride bets, or even just that elusive guy or girl they've been chasing for months, please write to us because we're hiring. If you like spending far too much time reading sports articles, studying statistics and betting trends, staying up late to write original content, and working for free, then we have a place for you at The Spread Zone.



How much writing does it take to forget the worst week in TSZ's history? The odds makers set the O/U at 2.5 paragraphs, and although it surprises me, I'm going with the UNDER because as much as our Friday Five and our overall ATS stats stunk it up, our saving grace was our newest category - the O/U's. Rather than get into the gory details of our ATS record right now (4-8-1), I'd rather shine a big, bright, red herring-shaped light on these two facts:

#1. Our Professor of Parlay nailed his picks with both Seattle and Dallas covering their spreads and earning investors like yours truly two and half times their investment. Everyone say, "Thank you Mysterio." If you've been following along since last season, he has hit 5 of 6 parlays and is 11-1 overall with his recommended picks. That's so money he doesn't even know it.



#2. Our brand new Over/Under predictions went 10-4 yesterday, and if you include the preseason that brings us up to an unlikely 23-7. Sounds like we need a new kind of football pool in the neighborhood. Any takers?

Although our inaugural Friday Five isn't going to have people lining up at The Spread Zone to become Insiders, a Houston cover tomorrow and we salvage enough face (and capital) to keep on betting next week. Our apologies go out to the faithful who have already signed the dotted line and committed to a season of Insider trading, but rest assured we have enough faith in the law of averages and adjustments in the early NFL season to know that we'll be turning things around on Thursday.

If you're like Marco and me, and you had a shitty-ass weekend, too - excuse my French - then you're probably ready to start studying up for Week 2. Well, good news everyone: the NFL Week 2 lines are out and we have exclusive access right here at The Spread Zone. Don't get too caught up in the moment when there's always another sunrise just around the corner. And by sunrise I mean really enticing Week 2 underdog.



If you're having a hard time keeping the faith and you need a frame of reference, check out the Experts at CBSSports - they get paid the big bucks and only one of six is over .500. Rough week all across the handicapping world. They are, however, celebrating big time in Vegas.

We'll get 'em next week. How? Tune in tomorrow for another episode of Handi-Cap-Able: continuing education for the degenerate gambler.

Thanks for sticking around,

Vinny and Marco