Week 14 Monday Morning Quarterback

Ahhh, the swashbuckling adventures upon the high seas of gambling. Some weeks it feels like a luxurious Caribbean cruise - every day an island paradise, every game a cool, coastal breeze on a sunny afternoon. Other weeks, like the last two, it feels like we simply traded seats on the Titanic. Our mantra this morning - based in the spiritual principal of compassion - is, "At least we're not the Arizona Cardinals."

                                    

One of the most difficult things for athletes, coaches, and novice Internet blogging NFL handicappers to do is face the media after a tough loss. Here's a piece of the transcript from TSZ's Sunday night press conference.

"First of all, I don't want to take anything away from Vegas - their a great team and they played another good game this weekend. They are exactly who we thought they were - multi-billionaire royalty living monarchistic lives on capitalistic values. I don't want to minimize their success, but I'm pretty sure that, unlike Vinny's mother-in-law, their psychics actually have magical powers."
                                 
Wouldn't it be a great sub-plot if we found out the Roger Goodell owns a share of the Bellagio? Or that there really are psychics working out in the dessert, which is why Vegas can plant lines like Atlanta (-3.5) in Carolina or see that San Diego is going to win in Pittsburgh for the FIRST TIME IN REGULAR SEASON HISTORY. At this rate we might have to rename TSZ TheCoinFlip.com or RowShamBow.org and make it a not for profit, because that's certainly what it's been lately.

But gambling is a fool's game, and Marco and I are two of the most foolish guys you'll ever meet. Stuart Scott once said during an episode of ESPN's failed reality show Dream Job, "Character is defined by who you are when you're alone." He said this to a young man who had screwed up his audition and was swearing uncontrollably while throwing chairs and tables around a green room he assumed was camera free.

At TSZ, where we're always standing in front of the bright lights of the bloggosphere, we believe that regardless of how the mule got into the ditch, character is defined by how you get it out. When people say, "Shitty weekend," we say, "Happy Monday." And when they say, "You guys are losers," we say, "Pre-Winners." The best thing about gamblers, ourselves included, is their short-term memories and their what-have-you-done-for-me-lately attitudes. Remember how we nailed that back door cover in Green Bay last night? We do.

So, yes, we received some glimpses of what hate mail might look like, mostly just soft-core emotional porn from self-loathing gamblers, but it is in the face of such adversity that Marco and I embrace the gambling philosophy of Rita Mae Brown who - in her nationally acclaimed "The Four Agreements of Gambling" - wrote, "Leroy bet me I couldn't find a pot of gold at the end, and I told him that was a stupid bet because the rainbow was enough."

What the F is that supposed to mean? Exactly. And you're welcome.

What would The Spread Zone be if not a place for us to rejoice, be it as kings or as paupers, and for just a brief moment forget about the rest of the world and focus on the upcoming NFL schedule. Without humor, without humility, and without honesty, TSZ would be almost as much fun as the following movies without violence. So if you bet on Atlanta or Tampa Bay or Pittsburgh or any other game that made you say, "Whaaaaaaat?" take a moment to enjoy this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dIa-M5qoOHE.

See you on Wednesday,

Vinny and Marco