Friday, December 7, 2012

Friday Five for Free-Pacinos


FRIDAY FIVE SEASON TO DATE: 23-13 ATS (Wish that had been the score last night) 

Had it not been for the Carson Palmer red zone turnover, the 5,000 penalty yards, and the fact that the Oakland Raiders suck, we would have nailed that game.

On to better things...

In the wake of back-to-back losing weeks with our Friday Five, we are feeling like an undervalued 2-10 Chiefs team getting 5.5 points against the Browns. The problem with that simile and that game being played in Cleveland this weekend is that nobody cares anymore?

Pop Quiz: What do you do with things that no longer have inherent value or interest? Simple - you bet on them.

The Spread Zone wants long-term, satisfied readers rather than one-time, resentful shoppers. In this spirit - and in hopes of shaking the Karma Curse - Marco and I are opening our questionably valuable Friday Five back up to the public. Are we posting it here? No way - that's too easy. Let's make this a little more interesting...


Step 1: Become a follower and/or just send us an e-mail to saying, "Hey guys. I really love your blog. You two are amazing. I've never felt so connected to and entertained by another almost complete stranger in my life...," or you can just say, "What's up guys. I'd like to see what this Friday Five is all about." That's it. No investment on your part. Just an e-mail. Now here's the wager.

Step 2: If we go 3-2 ATS this week, we'll call it a push. We have your e-mail and will continue to send you our Friday Five for the rest of the season. Yes, all three weeks. And the playoffs, where it will probably become more like a Weekend One. If, however, we go 4-1 ATS then - relying of course on the highly honorable code of universal gamblers - you come back to The Spread Zone, hit the donate button, and buy us a cup of coffee on Tuesday. If, and there's a great chance this is going to happen this weekend, we nail 5-0 ATS, then said coffee becomes a Trente Quadruple Vanilla Soy Mocha with Sprinkles.

If you don't pay up, however, then you must pledge your undying loyalty to TSZ and Spread the word about The Zone.

Now doesn't that sound way more exciting than the Chiefs-Browns game...or the Jets-Jags game...or about half the games on the schedule this week? And only two steps. You can't beat that. To summarize - send us an e-mail and we'll send you picks. What happens after that, of course, is entirely up to you.

And that's not all, if you e-mail right now, we'll send a Shamwow towel, a set of Ginsu knives, and a pair of his and hers TSZ Snuggies.

No we won't. We promise.

What's at stake for us? Good question. Only our highly suspect reputation - that's what.

Just as a teaser - only one of our five match this week's Thursday Three, and it rhymes with Fatlanta Malcons.

Write soon. First five e-mailers get Marco's cell phone number.

Vinny and Marco

1 comment:

  1. Psychic Saturday Discontinued

    My mother-in-law went 7-8 last week, and to be honest the mascot jokes of a 70 year-old grow tiresome by week 2. That being said, just in case she is now connected to the nether world of football handicapping, I'm putting her picks right here. Her straight up winners are:

    1. Carolina
    2. Pittsburgh
    3. Dallas
    4. Buffalo
    5. Minnesota
    6. Green Bay
    7. Jacksonville
    8. Indianapolis
    9. San Francisco
    10. Arizona
    11. Patriots
    12. Baltimore
    13. Philadelphia
    14. New York Giants
    15. Kansas City

    So, if you're feeling other worldly...

    Vinny and Marco