Tuesday, December 11, 2012

PARLAY vous Francais?

Well, some Canadians do. While others have a such an incredible mastery of the English language that it has landed them a guest writing appearance on the fastest growing, free, NFL handicapping blog written by two guys above thirty who live west of the Mississippi. Talk about your fifteen minutes. Before we get to our mystery guest, how about a short golf clap for some new behind the scenes readers.

TSZ Welcomes to: Some faithful albeit disappointed readers who sought out the Friday Five last week included Harley, Bobby M., Joseph P., Francis M., and Rick. S. Thanks for being here. Please join us in the assumption that it's going to get better.

Coffee Thank You's: Are you kidding? Who's going to buy us coffee with a back-to-back weekends like that. Marco's dad, that's who. Thanks Mr. Marco. You're the best.

As we have endeavored to all year - sometimes in jest and others in all seriousness - TSZ hopes to provide its readers/gamblers with solid information, strong opinions, and continuing education. Today we embark upon a new chapter at TSZ - perhaps even a glimpse into its future - by inviting one of our community members to submit his thoughts on a parlay for the NFL's Week 15 schedule. 

parlay or accumulator is a single bet that links together two or more individual wagers and is dependent on all of those wagers winning together. The benefit of the parlay is that there are much higher payoffs than placing each individual bet separately since the difficulty of hitting it is much higher. If any of the bets in the parlay lose, the entire parlay loses. If any of the plays in the parlay ties, or "pushes", the parlay reverts to a lower number of teams with the odds reducing accordingly.

Traditional Vegas payouts

2 Team Parlay13 to 5
3 Team Parlay6 to 1
4 Team Parlay10 to 1
5 Team Parlay20 to 1
6 Team Parlay40 to 1
7 Team Parlay75 to 1
8 Team Parlay150 to 1
9 Team Parlay300 to 1
10 Team Parlay700 to 1
11 Team Parlay1100 to 1

Thank you Wikipedia. 

Our guest blogger is one of our original followers and has been a prolific contributor off screen at TSZ. He is a former winner of Best Moniker Award at our first annual Zonies, and it was free will and ingenuity that lead him to this moment. And now, straight from the hockey, snow, maple syrup, friendly people, free health care capital of the world, we bring you...

Mysterio's Tuesday Two

Just some quick information about TSZ. Vincenzo and Spartacus (Vinny and Marco for the specials) were caught using Adderall  in weeks 11 and 12. The results were f___ing amazing! Needless to say they had to stop (using) for weeks 13 and 14 to undergo tests and Vincenzo had to sit out last week. We all know how that worked out! Are you worried yet? No need for that. Our rules are just like the NFL, you can get caught using PEDs and still give advice to needy gamblers who need their fix but can't afford the PEDs to push them over the top. Fret no more my fellow TSZ junkies the boys will be available for the rest of the year and because of our rules they have started a heavy, heavy dose of Adderall and are ready to crush Vegas this week! To further our need of NFL jargon we are going to try a parlay from above the 49th parallel and see if we can help with the funding of Adderall for everyone. Technically I think I'm below the 49th parallel but anyway on to the inaugural Tuesday Two.

SEATTLE -5 at Buffalo

Did anyone find out if Seattle played last week? Oh yeah they did and I believe Richard Sherman was handing out Marshawn Lynchs' Skittles to the whole team with unbelievable results. (This looks good for the TSZ boys who can't be reached right now because they are chasing down planes at  SF International) Seattle is rolling right now. In my opinion this seems like a let up game for them after the trouncing they gave Zona last week. On the contrary, I see a team that can cover this spread with very minimal effort. They are actually in the hunt to win their division as the Niners have a tough matchup with the Pats this week. Pete Carrol is one of the best coaches out there and he will make sure his team is ready to play! I see this spread going up to 7 so I would suggest getting on it early. Stats would suggest that Seattle isn't that good at covering on the road but they did beat an albeit injury riddled Chicago team their last time out by 6. This Bills team is in no way comparable to that injury depleted Bears squad. I see a pick 6 for our adderall using friend Richard "Skittles" Sherman and the Hawks win this one by at least 10.


GREEN BAY -3 at Chicago

By now we all know what state the Chicago Bears are in. Remember the melt down last year? I see that continuing this week with a divisional game that has the Bears free falling and the Packers rolling along as they get healthier. I'm not usually a gambler who goes by the previous 8-10 years as a reference but with these 2 teams I will. Green Bay is 15-4 in its last 19 games SU playing on the road against the Bears. In recent injury riddled times the Bears are 1-3-1 ATS at home. This game is the beginning of the end for the Bears. The Bears are 1-4 ATS against the Pack at home in their last 5. The weather can always be a factor when playing at Soldier field but the Packers are use to playing in cold, tumultuous weather as well and should cover and win by 7 just like last week.


That's it for the inaugural Tuesday 2. Roger that Houston and a big 10-4 for your bets this week. 




  1. Mysterio,
    Sounds good to me. I was so bitter towards SEA when they were given the "Fail Mary" against my Pack in week 3 but I can't let that cloud my judgement when it comes to picking ATS. In Wilson I Trust (one-year former Badger); he's been amazing for a "short" QB who "won't make it" in the NFL. Defense (and rushing usually) travels well and after last weeks performance by both...look out Buffalo. Unless they completely lay an egg (which I don't see happening) the 'Hawks should roll.
    Do or die for the Bears this week but if the Packers limit Marshall the way they did Megatron last week, GB crushes CHI. Bear's D is too banged up right now and Pack's getting back Woodson and Matthews.

    Beer n Brats for Breakfast

  2. I would also like to add the over in the Falcons, Giants game. Briefly, the Giants secondary is atrocious and their offense will put up astonishing numbers this week. Take the over 51!

  3. Good job on the parlay! I'd like to see more of these posts.