Tony Robbins to Coach New York Jets

More crazy, pre-season news coming from the NFL. Will the Jets be good after all?

FLORHAM PARK, N.J. -- On the eve of their final preseason game, the New York Jets have traded in Training for Leadership Camp. 

The Jets, who became a national punch line last season because of their dissension-torn locker room, sent 19 players to a leadership training seminar Wednesday in nearby Bedminster, N.J. Head coach Rex Ryan who attended the same seminar with his staff in May said, "It was the best experience we've all had together since Mark Sanchez was in college. We all felt hopeful and connected. 

"The world was our oyster again," defensive coordinator Mike Pettine added solemnly. 

The leadership seminar was conducted by the one and only Tony Robbins, who has gained world-wide celebrity for his powerfully motivating quotes and incredibly large teeth. "If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten," his childhood dentist told his parents while up-selling them to a set of porcelain veneers. 

                             

"What Tony taught us," said a tearful O-Line coach Dave DeGuglielmo, "is that there is no offense or defense. That the only fences are the ones we create in our minds. That really made a lot of sense to me."

Jets fans would certainly agree with the first part of Robbins' sentiment, but will a leadership seminar be enough to fix the ails of one of football's proudest organizations and return it to its recent questionable prominence? 

"Unless Robbins is a QB coach, too, I'm not convinced this is going to help," said the usually very enthusiastic super-fan Fireman Ed, then yelled, "J-E-T-S," and jumped on this brother Frank's shoulders, immediately re-injuring his bad knee. 

"More will be revealed," said some ancient wise person, and that appears to be the case with the New York Jets. Will Tony Robbins' masterful quotes about success and achievement be enough to turn this laughing stock of an organization around just days before the regular season kicks off?

Will Jets starters be able to walk on fire and return victorious. Or will Tim Tebow, as he has done with most of our sports nation, convert Robbins into a believer that the only fire anyone must endure is that of eternal damnation?

                        

I'm not convinced there is much difference between that and the season the Jets are about to face. 

Anonymous Source

Posted by Vinny and Marco