Pages

Saturday, August 18, 2012

Important Gambling Tip #1

Friends Don't Let Friends Gamble Alone

The Designated Driver. The Optometrist. The Honorary Cow Poker. These are terms most often associated with memorable, alcoholic nights on the town. Who's going to drive to make sure the rest of the drunks get home safely? Who's going to stay sober to temper the enthusiasm inspired by beer goggles. And most importantly, who is going to take one for the team when the Optometrist and The Driver throw caution to the wind and start drinking, too.

Much like alcoholism, gambling can be a serious and lethal addiction. If you believe you have a problem with either one of these issues, there are wonderful rehabilitation facilities and extremely supportive Twelve Step groups for losers like you. If, however, you are just a recreational gambler or still clinging desperately to the denial that fuels your next big score, then by all means continue reading. Over the course of our incredibly successful 2011 NFL season, Marco and I discovered several inherent advantages to Team Gambling. 

1. Splitting the Investment: This helps facilitate the illusion (to both yourself and your loved ones) that you're barely even gambling. If you're only in for half or a third as much as your gambling counterparts, then you clearly don't have a problem

Caution: Like going out for a round of drinks with friends, this feels economical until it's your turn and you realize it makes no difference. Similarly, the exhilaration of success with split investments can often lead and individual gambler to develop a false sense of confidence which might inspire solo betting.


2. Blind Spots: I love women with curves. Marco loves exotic looking ones with attitude. After a shitload of drinks, without an Optometrist, circles start to look curvy, and tan girls who bitch slap Marco get marriage proposals. Last year, my fat girl was the Indianapolis Colts and Marco's fiery Latina was the Buccaneers. By gambling together, we helped each other avoid our personal pitfalls and take home more cash.

Caution: Talk it out, people. Sometimes a Rosie O'Donnell or a Rosie Perez is just what the doctor ordered. You might not marry her, but at least she'll help you cover the spread - if you know what I mean, eh fellas.

3. Friendship: Everybody knows that social drinking is not alcoholism. That's science. It's the same thing with gambling. People only start to worry when you're doing it alone. Or getting arrested.

Caution: None of these benefits guarantee winning. Nor does having an Optometrist guarantee sight. Who knows what his blind spots are, right? It's important to remember that not everyone can be a super-gifted Vinny or Marco when it comes to gambling. What this sub-strategy does guarantee is having a whole lot more fun winning and losing money while riding the ridiculously intoxicating roller coaster that is degenerate gambling.

Happy Betting.

Vinny and Marco



1 comment:

  1. A worthwhile read mate! A creatively done write-up that can guide players to grab that winning spot! Kudos for your post!

    ReplyDelete