I kid you not, my friends, these were struggling actors and cartoon characters before they grew their lady tickers. Zoro was a self-proclaimed zero, and even Floyd Pepper was a depressed, unemployed Muppet until his experimental crumb catcher landed him a gig as the bass player for Electric Mayhem.
Hey, there ain't nothin' to it but to do it!
Here at The Spreadzone we endeavor to bring you the most significant Fantasy Index Betting Stats (F.I.B.S.) our extensive research has discovered. In the NFL, the mustache is nothing short of The Force, which is why Mike Ditka's closest friends still affectionately call him Yoda. The power of the 'stache is often strongest in coaches, which explains the successes of Obi Wan-like Mike Holmgren and his fraternal twin Andy Reid. Unfortunately, when Holmgren took the GM job with The Browns, he must have thought his cookie duster wouldn't fall prey to the Millen Principle, which serves as a reminder to us all that mustaches and business don't mix.
If, however, there is a modern day Luke Skywalker in the NFL, it is former Titans and current Rams coach, Jeff Fisher, whose unforgettable mouth brow was so powerful it changed the culture in Tennessee. To this day, the lines on their football field are known as 'stache marks, the stadium's number one selling food is 'stached potatoes, and when you pay they say, ""Stache or credit?"
In the trenches of today's NFL, the power of the 'stache continues to prevail. Take notes, my friends, this is the good stuff. Sure I could throw out names like Aaron Rodgers and Joe Flacco, both a grizzly 11-5 ATS in 2011, but the more impressive example is the lesser known Charlie Whitehurst (I know - Who?), back-up QB for the Seattle, whose flavor saver guided the 'Hawks to an 8-1 record ATS until he foolishly grew it out into a full-blown beard.
Whitehurst regrew the mustache and left the Seahawks this off-season to serve as Philip Rivers back-up in San Diego. Don't get too excited, Charger fans, I've seen Philip Rivers WAG (see http://www.thespreadzone.blogspot.com/2012/08/curse-of-hot-wag.html), and there is no way he's getting injured this year. Or ever.
Seriously. Am I right? So remember people: If You Want to Win the Cash, Bet on the 'Stache.
Vinny and Marco
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