Tuesday, June 11, 2013

NBA Playoff Pick-a-thon Day 53: Marcia, Marcia, Marcia





KYLE'S UFC PICKS: 11-6 (8-0 on confidence picks)


TSZ Welcoming Committee: Remember when this used to be a weekly part of our routine? Oh how I miss the interactive football fans of the world. Nonetheless, the parade must go on, and Airin you get the balloons, the Welcome to TSZ banners, and the cyber carpet all to yourself. Thank you for going public with your opinions and questions in our comments section. I sometimes wonder if our other readers know that's what they're for. Should I be more controversial and incendiary in my writing? You'd think I would have elicited the ire of at least one Miami Heat fan by now. 

For Airin and anyone else who would like to join our mailing list and get reminders of our posts or special offers once the .COM is up and running, please feel free to e-mail us at: It's the interactive nature of The Spread Zone that has made it one of the fastest growing communities of like-minded gamblers this side of .ORG.

And now for something completely different...

Speaking of controversial and incendiary, I grew up on the Brady Bunch. Who didn't, right? Although the original series was cancelled long before I hit kindergarten, in my memory the syndicated episodes are the only thing I ever remember seeing on television until MTV came out during middle school. Watching every single episode ad nauseum was like a long, uncomfortable right of passage into manhood as I grew from the  boyish crush I had on little Cindy to an adolescent desire to bang Marcia later on. Again, who didn't? I felt guilty at first jumping loyalties like that, but let's face it Cindy's best years were behind her by the end of Season 2.

Season 1                                                  Season 3

Truth be told, father time wasn't really kind to any of the Brady Kids:





Wait. What? Peter grew up to be Seth MacFarlane?

And, of course, Greg

At least Greg is doing something with his life. And yes, I know Pop spells with with two G's. In case that joke wasn't quite long enough, try this one:

A guy driving a taxicab picks up a nun as one of his fares. As the two drive, the cabby keeps glancing back at the nun, obviously wanting to say something.
"What is it my child? I can see you have something on your mind."
"Well," he begins nervously, "I don't want to make you uncomfortable."
"Please, child," the nun assures him, "I've lived a long life and seen a lot in this world. I'm sure you won't make me uncomfortable."
"Okay," the driver says, "It's just I've always had a fantasy of kissing a nun."
"Well," says the nun without hesitating, "let's see what we can do about that. There are two requirements: you must be single and you must be Catholic."
"I am single and I am Catholic," the man proudly announces. So the nun has him pull the cab over and gives him a kiss that would make a sailor blush.
No sooner than they're driving again, however, the taxicab driver is sobbing.
"What is it now  my child?" the nun asks.
"I'm sorry, sister. I lied. I'm actually Jewish and I'm married."
"That's okay son" the nun assures him, "My name's Frank and I'm on my way to a Halloween party."

As my wife likes to say when she finds the payoff of my long-windedness questionable at best, "That's it? Was there a joke in there somewhere? I guess it was pretty small because I missed it." Or was that after sex?

The point, however, of both of these non sequiturs was to take your minds off of things like this when we make our NBA Finals Game 3 pick:


Let's face it. Game 2 was a cliche. I mean how many times have you said after a loss, "If it weren't for that 33-5 run we were right there." It was practically written on the wall in the locker room when I used to coach our local JV team. Basketball is a game of runs, you just hope the other team's are never as much longer, faster, and more athletic than Miami's was on Sunday. Unlike the post-game analysts who seem to think the Miami Heat have an On/Off switch they can flip at will, we believe their late third through the end of the game outburst will prove to be anomalous when facing the Coach Gregg (see the tie in now) led San Antonio Spurs.

SAN ANTONIO SPURS (-2) over Miami Heat: This marks the first time the Miami Heat are getting points this post-season, and we at The Spread Zone are unabashedly saying, "Here you go four-time MVP driven, 27 game win-streak toting defending NBA champion - take them both."


San Antonio got what they hoped for out of their visit to Miami - a matinee of Tango Takes Flight at the Adrienne Arsht Center for the Performing Arts and a split with the Heat. Now, thanks to the 2-3-2 NBA Finals schedule which heavily favors at team in San Antonio's position, they are back in the Alamo Dome until Sunday night. And my mean that quite literally. It is a well-documented fact that coach Popavich makes his team sleep on the home hardwood after humiliating losses and watch game tape on the Jumbotron while he paces through the ranks with a loud piece of bamboo he uses to keep them awake and attentive. 


The Miami Heat rarely play the underdog, but they've played it well going 6-1 ATS in their last 7. They've also gone 20-6 ATS in their last 26 road games. So why are we taking the Spurs? Because over the past two seasons they are 8-3 SU and 7-3-1 ATS as home favorites of three points or less, with the UNDER going 8-3 in that situation. Let's face ti, stats don't mean a whole lot when it comes to Game 3 of the NBA Finals. This game is going to come down to effort, turnovers, and role players. We believe the San Antonio bench, including the forgotten third head of the OG Big Three - Ginobili - will spur their team to victory. The Kool Aid says the Heat. We say don't drink it.


Vinny and Marco

PS Kyle is on secret assignment and will return when the mission is complete.

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