NBA Playoff Pick-a-thon Day 52: The Madness Behind the Method

NBA POST-SEASON RECORD TO DATE: 49-30 ATS 

NBA FINALS: 1-1 ATS

KYLE'S NHL PICKS TO DATE: 51-39-1

KYLE'S MLB PICKS TO DATE: 163-129-7

KYLE'S UFC PICKS: 11-6 (8-0 on confidence picks)

KYLE'S TENNIS PICKS: 2-0 

Recently I've been fielding a lot of questions from fans about how I've managed to come up with creative new writing ideas for The Spread Zone for the past 51 days in a row. And by a "lot of questions," I mean just one, and by "people" I mean the voice in my head - who is both my greatest fan and my worst critic. Although it's true I often have no idea what I'm going to write about when I sit down in front of the blank computer screen, the sports world rarely has a shortage of factual stories that, with a pinch of fiction and a dash of sarcasm, can be turned into a delicious TSZ headline.

When I was in elementary school, I used to spend six months a year living with my siblings and my mother in India. The hippie school I attended in California would give me homework for my time abroad that went something like this, "For English, why don't you keep a journal and for math...um...just count stuff." As a result, I had piles of journals and lots and lots of shells. Later, as a teen my friends and I used to play a game where we would pretend we were fluent in Spanish, and simultaneously translate the Latin soap operas. This also works with martial arts movies, the home shopping network, and many of the northern British comedies. 



Long story a smidgen to long already, I've always enjoyed making shit up and sharing it with my friends. When Marco and I started TSZ, I didn't really care if he was the only one who was going to read it. Now that we actually have an audience, the formula hasn't changed - and it usually begins with a conversation.

Marco: Did you hear about the protester at the French Open who jumped on the court before the Final?

Vinny: Sort of. I saw it on the thingy under Sports Center. Who the heck protests tennis? 

Marco: I don't know, but he was shirtless and holding a flare. Maybe he thinks tennis is boring and was offering a solution to spice things up.

Vinny: Maybe he just has a flare for the dramatic.

Marco: Stop it. I gotta go.

And...scene. An idea was born. Although today, my idea was squashed before I even got to the punch line. Here's how it went. 

1. Google: French Open protester. 

2. Started reading the article on ESPN.com which awesomely had as many pictures as we usually do. 

3. Saw this picture:



4. Thought to myself, "Maybe he doesn't want people to play tennis until legally married gays can play tennis?"

5. Continued reading about the increasing problem of fans rushing the court during tennis matches. Saw this picture of one instance where a gentleman wanted Roger Federer to wear his red hat.



6. Thought, "Rafael Nadal just continued his historic own-age of Federer by not only winning another French Open but also beating his "A fan rushed me on the court story." Shirtless Flare Guy or Please Where My Hat Guy - who would you choose?

7. Continued reading and saw this picture and it's caption which stated:



"Minutes before the incident, fans in the upper deck were expelled for disrupting the match with a loud protest about children’s rights. The group was protesting France’s recent same-sex marriage law and were calling for the removal of French president Francois Hollande. 

Turns out about two weeks ago, France's first same-sex wedding was broadcast live on television. The politically charged ceremony was held under tight police surveillance -- a stark reminder of the months of bruising opposition to the new same-sex marriage law that French lawmakers passed earlier this month. Several rallies involving thousands of protesters in Paris failed to prevent the law's passage.

8. Thought, "There went my punchline."  Fortunately, good old VIHM gave me another idea.

9. And that's how it works. But one last question: What the heck is up with the Eyes Wide Shut masks? Were they trying to bore people to death whilst protesting?



10. Vinny and Marco


KYLE'S CORNER

Well, I certainly won't be protesting the French Open. Je parlayed the Finals into a clean sweep. Thank you Serena and thank you Rafa. It feels like things have settled into a nice groove again here at KC's, but unfortunately until the UFC matches this weekend, it's a bit of a slow week. Let's recap

NHL: 51-39-1MLB: 163-129-7 UFC: 11-6 (8-0 on confidence picks)Tennis: 2-0

Sunday's:
MLB: 5-2
Tennis: 1-0

Okay, for Monday, we only have 1 option, and that's Baseball. Get used to it - it's a long summer if you don't appreciate America's former pastime.

Pitcher Follow:

SEA:   Iwakuma (6-1, 1.94 ERA)
TOR:   Dickey (5-7, 4.66 ERA) *has finally gotten hot.
LAD:   Kershaw (5-4, 1.93 ERA)



Overs:

CLE:   Kazmir (3-3, 5.24 ERA) @ TEX:   Lindblom (0-1, 7.71 ERA)

Under: (I know it's not normal but these are offensively challenged teams)

HOU:   Keuchel (3-2, 4.70 ERA) @ SEA:   Iwakuma (6-1, 1.94 ERA)

Good luck!