By Hook and By Crook

Wild Card Weekend: 3-1 ATS

Playoffs to Date: 4-4 ATS

Season to Date: 143-123 ATS

Now that we've completely digested the heaping pile of humble pie we ate this weekend, it's time to remove the bib, brush off the crumbs, change the tear-soaked Texans Letterman jacket and say, "What the F, Falcons?" Mr. Ryan- getting picked when you had no business throwing the ball. A twenty point lead evaporating in less than a quarter? Did a billy goat-toting Cubs fan visit your locker room? I don't know how anyone picks you to go to the Superbowl, Atlanta. Foreshadowing? More like foreskin. Useless. Totally useless. 

Meanwhile in New England, Houston finally decides to show up in the fourth quarter, but then lets up in the final minute, not giving us gamblers a shot at the back door cover. Admittedly, I was on my way home by then listening to the game on the radio, but what happened to the creed of "Anything can happen." Footballs are made to bounce funny and give teams a fighting chance, so stop throwing the ball up the middle, Schaub. 

Onward and upward, TSZ readers. Onward and upward. Is anyone giving Atlanta or Baltimore a fighting chance? Not Vegas odds makers. Lines opened with New England getting 9.5 points and San Francisco on the road getting 3.5. Should the Niners and Pats save a few bucks by purchasing their tickets to New Orleans early? Should the Ravens and the Falcons book their cruises to the Bahamas for the off-season? Should they all be using ppgtravel.com to ensure the best deals and quality customer service? The answers to all of these questions can be yours in two simple steps.

Step 1: Send us an e-mail at vinnyandmarco@gmail.com letting us know you'd like to hear what we have to say.

Step 2: Anxiously await enlightenment while planning what you're going to do with all the money you win. 

I know we had a rough Divisional Round, but Marco and I have only had one losing streak longer than a week all season. Granted it lasted fourteen weeks, but...

I'm kidding. The divisional weekend was our first sub-par showing since Week 13. Check the earlier posts. Do you really think we would be so popular in Canada if we didn't offer a quality product? 



Okay, fair enough. But what about



and



Plus there's



and of course who could forget...



Need I say more?

Just two simple steps, dear readers, and you will get VIP treatment at The Spread Zone for life. It will like when you followed Alanis Morissette around Ontario before "Jagged Little Pill," came out, and even better than that Ryan Reynold's fan club you VPed when he was just little known Billy Simpson. When we finally do go global, you'll be able to say, "Yeah, I totally knew those guys before way before they didn't deserve all the attention they're getting."

It will feel awesome.

So, send us an e-mail and join the community to get our AFC and NFC Championship game locks. The picks might not be right, but the presentation will be phenomenal.

TSZ Welcomes: This might take awhile, but Marco and I made a commitment to our growing fan base not to let fame change us. That being said, we'd like to take a moment to welcome all of the new readers who sent us e-mails last week asking for and receiving our very disappointing divisional round picks. Sorry everyone, but welcome nonetheless to: Brian A., Robert J., Ken McG., Harj, Nazeer, Jay Y., Archibald, Michael M., Daniel, Brian K., Darrel K., Sam S., Rommel, Dallas, Cindy, Breezie, Ellen, Sunil, HL from Toronto, James I., Epic Joe, and of course Mr. The Shark. I hope I didn't leave anyone out.

Coffee Thank You's: One of our oldest and dearest fans, John M., has managed to time his coffee donations throughout the year perfectly. Just when we think TSZ is doomed to mediocrity after a dismal 1-3 ATS weekend, coffee arrives in our living room courtesy of a human being we believe is never a prisoner of the moment. Thanks, John. Like we said before, if we ever make a TSZ t-shirt - yours is on the house.

Good luck TSZ Readers.

May the Spread Be with You,

Vinny and Marco

Wild Card Weekend Picks ATS: Home Cookin'

That's right, ladies and gentlemen, in twenty-four short hours Wild Card Weekend kicks off the 2013 NFL playoffs and in my opinion the second best month in sports, surpassed only by the upcoming Madness that is March. 

Speaking of The Madness, as I was reflecting upon the last year and contemplating the next one earlier this week, I saw a clip of 1983's sixth seeded North Carolina State's historic upset over the number one seeded Houston Cougars led by Hall of Famer's Akeem Olajuwon, Clyde Drexler, and of course who could forget freshman guard Renaldo Thomas. The answer to that question is: everyone. But somewhere, somehow, if not today then tomorrow or on Sunday, a 48 year-old Mr. Thomas is performing the daily ritual of Googling his name, and...your welcome Renaldo.

The coach of the North Carolina State Wolfpack at the time was the legendary Jim Valvano who delivered one of the most memorable speeches in ESPYs history while he was fighting for his life against cancer. The take home message to the audience, to his family, to his former players, colleagues, and anyone else listening was this: 

"To me, there are three things we all should do every day. We should do this every day of our lives. Number one is laugh. You should laugh every day. Number two is think. You should spend some time in thought. And number three is, you should have your emotions moved to tears, could be happiness or joy. But think about it. If you laugh, you think, and you cry, that's a full day. That's a heck of a day. You do that seven days a week, you're going to have something special."

I thought about this and decided it was a good, albeit lofty New Year's Resolutions. Although it is difficult and a little depressing to think of every day as possibly our last, it certainly ups the ante as far as appreciating life. Therefore, in a less morbid way, I am resolving to appreciate as many moments as possible this year through the joys of laughter, thought, and tears.

Hopefully, if you follow Marco's Wild Card Weekend Recipe precisely, you too will laugh and think and cry your way to the cashier/bookie/bank as you collect on your four team parlay. Now enough of this mushy sentimentalism, let's get down to some gambling. I have no idea why Valvano left that off his list. Seriously. 

Coffee Thank You's: Just a quick shout out and then I promise our picks will follow, but I would be remiss if I didn't say cheers to Matty S. and Vianet. Thanks for the pick-me-ups, guys.

And now...

Wild Card Weekend: Home Cookin'

HOUSTON TEXANS -4.5 over Cincinnati Bengals: With BJGE battling a hamstring injury and Houston's excellent run defense, Cincinnati will have to compete through the air. Andy Dalton's biggest flaw is getting rid of the ball too early leading to bad decisions and interceptions. You have to think this will be the case with JJ Watt breathing down his neck. Texans CB Jonathan Joseph is healthier and will help slow down AJ Green. Meanwhile, Arian Foster will dictate the pace of the game with his ability to pick up key first downs and set up the passing attack. Texans by at least a touchdown. Plus, with a face like this one how could Matt Schaub lose his playoff debut. He totally gets it.

                            

BALTIMORE RAVENS -6.5 over Indianapolis Colts: Sorry, Colts - coach is all better now, so I'm afraid the mojo is in remission, too. Meanwhile, on the other side of the ball, retirement is practically like death to football players, and we all saw how that panned out for Kansas City and Dallas. 

                                    

Don't expect the Ravens to advance in the next round, but for now, they know how to win playoff games- Ray Rice and defense. The Colts will not be able to contain Rice rushing or catching the ball out of the backfield. Quarterback Joe Flacco - playing in his tenth playoff game already - will benefit from Rice's success by making big passing plays off play action. It really was a genius move by Ray Lewis to announce his retirement now to motivate his teammates for a Super Bowl run. You know Lewis, Ed Reed, and Terrell Suggs will leave it all on the field. I see Luck being over-matched by the aggressive, opportunistic Baltimore defense who are excited they have the band back together. Ravens in a blowout.

GREEN BAY PACKERS -8.5 over Minnesota Vikings: The bold and beautiful Clay Matthews, muscles bulging, long, sweaty hair flowing behind his helmet made the fierce and intimidating proclamation that Adrian Peterson would not rush for 200 yards on the Packers...this time. Bold move, Clay.

                                         

          Not 200, again, Adrian. Not in our house, bitch.

Nonetheless, the Packers who started slow last week against the Vikings, will not make that mistake again. A frenzied home crowd of cheese heads, led of course by their Fireman Ed - Beer and Brats for Breakfast - will inspire the Packers to jump out to an early lead and avoid re-living their 2012 division game against the Giants. Randall Cobb in the slot will put up big numbers against the out-matched Minnesota secondary. Green Bay will also see the return of Charles Woodson who is back after breaking his collarbone back in week seven. Woodson adds a dynamic weapon to the league's eleventh ranked defense. He can shutdown a receiver, contain the run, and blitz Ponder- he is their leader and play maker on defense. The Vikings don't play as well outside the dome especially in cold weather on grass. Green Bay has all the advantages and will quickly make this game a landslide. 

WASHINGTON REDSKINS +2.5 over Seattle Seahawks: In an exciting, dramatic showdown of two of the best rookie quarterbacks in recent history, both teams, their fans, and analysts are always looking for an edge. Here at The Spread Zone, we found the weakest link - and it's Russell Wilson's middle name. That's right, if this were Days of Our Lives, Dynasty, or All My Children - yes I can rattle those off without Google - then RCW1 Russell Carringtion Wilson would be a shoe-in winner. But this is the NFL. This drama is real and unforgiving. This drama calls for a simple plan of attack and a simpler "Lee" sandwiched between the R, G, and the 3. 

                                      

                                        

          Plot twist: She's his sister and his wide receiver. 

Like Minnesota, Seattle doesn't play well outside of the dome. The Seahawks were 3-5 on the road this season with Russell Wilson throwing 9 TDs and 8 INTs in those eight games. The Redskins come into this game as the hottest team in the NFC and have one of the best home crowds in football. RGIII won't let his fans or his teammates down as he finds a way to beat the favored Seahawks. Griffin will test the secondary away from CB Sherman, so look for WR Joshua Morgan to make some impact plays. We love taking home dogs in the playoffs.

So there you have it TSZ readers. Our inaugural Wild Card Weekend Picks. Sorry they were so late, but nevertheless may you all laugh, think, and cry this weekend - hopefully not at the same time because let's face it that looks like a crazy person. 

Peace out, home fries.

Vinny and Marco

Week 16 Picks ATS: Saint Pick-olas Returns

'Twas the week before Christmas and all through the league
All the players were fighting late-season fatigue.
The bad teams were awful, the good teams were great,
while ten teams had yet to determine their fate.

The NFC East was a battle you see
'Tween the Boys, Eli Manning, and young RG3
While out in the West, Niners mined for gold rocks
Taking down with their pick axe, the pesky Seahawks.

And up in the North where the autumn's abated,
the once fearsome Bears have all now hibernated.
Detroit is long gone, while a Viking sneak peak,
has them saying good-bye to the playoffs this week.

The AFC picture is more of a snooze
with very few teams left with something to lose.
The Bengals and Steelers will fight to save face
and claim the grand, silver prize - second place.

The Colts try again in KC not to suck,
and clinch the post-season for Sir Andrew Luck.
While the old Denver Mannings roll up more first downs,
Whilst wishing good cheer to the young Cleveland Browns.

What's that my dear friends, you don't care which team wins?
Be it Jaguar or Texan or Panther or Phin?
Don't worry young gamblers, place all bets with care
And trust that Saint Pick-olas soon will be there.

Happy Holidays from Vincenzo!

Oh yeah, he's back.

LAST WEEK:  10-6 ATS 

SEASON TO DATE: 120-106 ATS

THURSDAY THREE FAN PICKS: 2-1 ATS / 8-7 ATS on the season

FRIDAY FIVE CONFIDENCE PICKS:2-3 ATS last week, but still 27-18 ATS on the season.

Available Now: http://thespreadzone.blogspot.com/2012/12/friday-five-come-and-get-it.html

Finally. I have risen from the couch like a phoenix from the flame, ready to deliver gifts to all of our readers in the form of solid, professional, NFL picks against the spread. Although he faltered in the prequel, shaken by the evils of indecision and novelty, Marco Solo stormed back last week, delivering us from a three-week losing streak into what appears to be post-season form. 

In the interest of maintaining interest in The Spread Zone, we're going to jump right into the picks this week. Read on to see who Saint Pick-olas is backing this holiday weekend. Nice teams are in bold, naughty ones in just plain, old, boring, no present-getting font. 

Saturday Night Football

Atlanta Falcons (-4.5) over DETROIT LIONS : The Falcons just came off a We-Sent-A-Message-For-Last-Year's-Playoff-Beat-Down Game at home against the New York Giants while the Lions are coming off a We-Can't-Believe-We-Actually-Lost-To-The-Cardinals drubbing in Arizona. Seems like it could be a sleeper trap game, but Atlanta is still playing for home field advantage throughout the playoffs and Detroit is only playing to prevent a transfer to the USFL. The Falcons will want to follow up their statement game with an exclamation mark, while the Lions will follow another embarrassing blowout loss with different kinds of exclamations. 

Sunday Morning Football

St. Louis Rams (+3.5) over TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS: Talk about teams heading in opposite directions. While Jeff Fisher has Rams Nation feeling as though "In the Hunt" is a first round playoff bye, Bucs head coach Greg Schiano appears content to rest on his laurels now that Tampa's six wins make them bowl eligible. The Rams ninth ranked secondary should be able to limit Mike Williams and Vincent Jackson in what promises to be a grind-it-out, whoever wants it more kind of game. Although St. Louis plays better in the confines of their dome, they relish the role of underdog, going 10-3 ATS in their last 13.

Indianapolis Colts (-6.5) over KANSAS CITY CHIEFS: The Colts haven't lost two games in a row all year, and this weekend in KC won't alter that trend. Although Kansas City boasts the seventh ranked pass defense in the NFL, their passing offense is completely incapable of putting points on the board and their running game is about as unpredictable as Ben Rothleisberger at a night club. Simply put - a six and a half point line means a 7-0 victory for the Colts. 

New Orleans Saints (+3.5) over DALLAS COWBOYS: The Cowboys have only one victory this season by more than seven points - a Week 10 road drubbing of Philadelphia 38-23. That's it. They are also 0-7 ATS at home this year. They win close, they lose close, or they lose big. They do not win big - especially not against an offensive powerhouse team like the Saints. Take the OVER, take the Cowboys straight up, and take Jason Garrett to back to the comedy club where he was doing meaningful work. 

                                  


Buffalo Bills (+4.5) over MIAMI DOLPHINS: If you want a sure bet here, take the UNDER. Even if it's 10. In games which Miami is favored, said UNDER is 9-2. Marco has been crushing on the offensive potential of Buffalo all season, but apparently the Bills are currently pregnant with a three touchdown game and the gestation period is almost two months. Seriously! Win or lose they haven't scored more than 20 since early November. Nonetheless, we are taking Buffalo who will forego the home birth and have a scheduled offensive C-Section in South Beach this weekend. 

Washington Redskins (-4.5) over PHILADELPHIA EAGLES: Washington Redskins head coach, Mike Shannahan is so confident in his offensive coordinating son's abilities that he is now benching Kirk Cousins in favor of third string quarterback and former college stand-out, Rex Grossman. Couple that piece of fiction with the fact that the Redskins are 10-2 ATS in their last 12 division games, and you can ride the Washington half of a parlay all the way to the Champs-Elysees. 

New England Patriots (-14.5) over JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS: Jacksonville is a god-awful 2-18 SU in their last 20 games as an underdog. If you can find the last game in which they were a favorite, the state of Florida will waive your income tax. The Patriots are coming off of their first home December loss in a decade. Don't you think that Bellichick took his Brady-bot to get tuned up between games. This could make the Seattle-Arizona game look like a nail biter. 

                                  

CAROLINA PANTHERS (-8.5) over Oakland Raiders: To Marco, this year's Raiders have been like that elusive, playing hard to get girl at the bar. Every time he sees her, he says out loud, "This is the week. I can feel it." And every week she turns him away disappointed. Last week, the Raiders finally put out in a 15-0 victory over the Chiefs. This week, Marco didn't even give them a second look. Don't hate the player. Hate the Raiders. 

GREEN BAY PACKERS (-11.5) over Tennessee Titans: The Titans rank in the bottom half of almost every offensive and defensive category in the NFL, while the Green Bay Packers are beginning to remind us how they ended up 15-1 last year. Be careful not to overvalue the Titans this week, because the Jets beating the Jets Monday night doesn't count as momentum in the gambling world. The Packers win big, playing for home field and a first round playoff bye. 

                                

Cincinnati Bengals (+4.5) over PITTSBURGH STEELERS: In the late stages of labor during the birth of our daughter my wife yelled, "Oh god, just get it out of me," to which our midwife calmly replied, "Carrie, God can't help you now. You have to push." Mike Tomlin and Marvin Lewis will both be sharing these sentiments with their teams before Sunday's game as Cincinnati's 2-10 ATS division record goes up against Pittsburgh's 0-4 ATS as a favorite record. God spelled backwards is Dog - and that's who we're taking. 

HOUSTON TEXANS (-7.5) over Minnesota Vikings: Make no mistake, Adrian Peterson will break the all-time NFL rushing record sometime during the next two weekends. Although this is in great part due to his raw talent and super-human abilities, it is also because the Vikings are a one-dimensional team with a weaponless passing game. Houston is still playing to secure home field throughout the playoffs and to regain momentum after their embarrassing loss to AFC foe New England two weeks ago. Take the Texans at home where they are 11-2 ATS in their last 13 December games. 

San Diego Chargers (+3.5) over NEW YORK JETS: Even though San Diego sucks when they play the Jets (1-6 ATS) and New York rules as a favorite (8-3 SU in 11), we're going against the grain here because Tim Tebow was slighted by the Jets and we believe the hand of God will no doubt cause McElroy to throw red zone interceptions on the 3, the 1, and the 6 yard lines. 

                                    

Cleveland Browns (+13.5) over DENVER BRONCOS: What else is there to say? The higher you go above sea level, the more advantageous youth becomes. There is no team younger than the Browns. Until their cover two Thursdays ago in Oakland, Denver was 0-11 ATS when favored by 8+, while Cleveland loves the super-dog role (8+ points) going 8-3 ATS in their last 11. The Broncos are still playing for a bye, but chances are if they get up big they'll rest guys in the second half and let the Browns sneak back under 14.

New York Giants (-2.5) over BALTIMORE RAVENS: The mystique of M & T Bank Stadium in Baltimore, Maryland is all but vanished. Consecutive losses to Pittsburgh and Denver have left the Ravens looking a bit Edgar Allen Poe-ish.

Ah, distinctly we remember it was in the bleak December,
Our defense's dying ember, let the opposition score
Every time forever more.

                    

Chicago Bears (-5.5) over ARIZONA CARDINALS: Beating the Lions is like smoking weed and thinking you can handle harder drugs. They are the gateway to addiction but it's all downhill from there. Don't be fooled by last week game, this is the same Arizona Cardinals team that lost nine in a row before smoking that killer green bud from D-Town.

San Francisco Forty Niners (-1.5) over SEATTLE SEAHAWKS: In the longest con of all, Jim Harbaugh's move to Colin Kaepernick finally pays off against the Seattle Seahawks. When asked repeatedly why he gave Alex's starting job to Colin, Harbaugh replied, "Because the kid is deaf, y'all." Everyone assumed Jim was trying to be hip and contemporary, when in fact all along he meant it quite literally. What noise at CenturyLink Field? Not in Colin's noiseless world. Give up the points and watch the Niners seal up the division as they hand the Seahawks their third SU and ATS loss in their last 17 home games.

That's a wrap, home fries. It's good to be back.

May the Spread be Delicious,

Vinny and Marco

Daily Reminders:

#1. Coffee Donations: If you appreciate what we're doing here, feel free to buy us a cup of coffee anytime - top right of the page. It takes a lot of caffeine to keep this thing going. Many thanks to those who have donated. It has felt like a warm, delicious compliment every time. Please send us a note, too, so we can make sure to thank you in the next post.

#2. Follow us on Twitter @vinnyandmarco. Spend weekends with Marco in the Twittersphere or feel free to just e-mail us anytime atvinnyandmarco@gmail.com.

#3. Now that we have the support and appreciation of fellow handicappers, we feel like The Spread Zone has as much potential as any free gambling website out there. We always appreciate feedback and suggestions. Like my favorite baseball team likes to say, "Together We're Giant." Look what it did for them.

NFL Week 15 Picks ATS: 32 Teams Guaranteed to Win, Lose, or Cover

LAST WEEK:  7-9 ATS 

SEASON TO DATE: 110-99 ATS

THURSDAY THREE FAN PICKS: 1-2 ATS / 6-6 ATS on the season

FRIDAY FIVE CONFIDENCE PICKS:2-3 ATS last week, but still 25-15 ATS on the season.

Coffee Thank You's: Let's jump right in with these, so as not to disrupt the flow of Marco's picks. He needs all the help he can get this week. Special thanks go out to one of our newest readers, Francis M., who sent us coffee regardless of our god-awful Friday Five last week. We hope we can do you right this week. Also, although he said he doesn't need the shout outs, we'd like to say, "Thanks again, Todd," who is looking at being a stock holder in TSZ at this rate. 

And now for something completely different...

When I awoke this morning to a message in the TSZ Inbox that read, "12-12-12 - Happy Aaron Rogers Day," two things occurred to me simultaneously. First of all, I was thrilled for this Green Bay Packers fan that he could find joy on a Wednesday morning in December, dressed to the nines in green and yellow, and likely high-fiving thousands of other cheese heads taking the day off in Wisconsin. 

Secondly, I realized that we are also getting dangerously close to the end of the Mayan calendar. If you believe in the Mayan predictions, the world as we know it will disappear in a cloud of white smoke in just nine short days. Personally, I believe this apocalyptic foreshadowing was probably just tantamount to their world as they knew it coming to an end in a cloud of white people, and they were approximately 600 years off. 

                                 

Regardless of the reasons, be it a day honoring Rogers, Favre, Kaepernick, Smith, or just the end of the world, it is a gentle reminder to us all that life is a gift; that each day on the planet might be our very last one...concussion free. 

If you have close friends you haven't spoken to in a while, pick up the phone and give them a call. If you have Facebook friends whom you've never spoken with, update your damn status and let them know what you're Liking these days. If your children still give a shit about you, give them a hug, a word of encouragement, or teach them about parlays and teasers. And if your husband or wife hasn't left you yet, take a moment to put down the mouse, laptop, i-phone, and let them know that you're never going to change but that you appreciate them loving you for who you are. 

Then pick that mouse, laptop, i-phone back up, because we have some football handicapping to do. Week 15 looks like it will be the end of the playoff world for some teams, while the dangling thread of hope will continue for others. Let's get to it, shall we? Our picks are always bold (we're told) and HOME TEAMS are in CAPS.

Thursday Night Football

Cincinnati Bengals (-3.5) over PHILADELPHIA EAGLES: While I'm trying to get fired up for this game by watching Loni Anderson in reruns of WKRP, the Eagles are getting juiced by watching reruns of seasons when they used to be good. Although Nick Foles is improving at quarterback with every game, their offense will not be enough to match Big Red, Medium Green, and little Andrew Hawkins. This week The Law Firm will be serving the Eagles defense with a summons to appear in his highlight reel. Cincinnati needs this win to get to the playoffs, while Philadelphia needs Michael J. Fox and a Delorean to get there. 

                           

Sunday Morning Football

Green Bay Packers (-2.5) over CHICAGO BEARS: Remember Groundhog Day with Bill Murray? This is what Bears fans must feel like - every year they start out great, Super Bowl talk ensues, injuries pile up, and it's back to the drafting board. While Cutler is trying to get a discount double check from his head and neck specialist, the Bears to should get some freakin' O-linemen. Green Bay will make it six in a row in Chicago this Sunday. 

New York Giants (+1.5) over ATLANTA FALCONS: In eleven games against opponents other than Carolina, Matt Ryan was sacked an average of once per game. In those other two games, the Panthers D-line took him down nine times. You know who has a better front four than Carolina? The Giants. That's who. Matty Ice-Cold will be lit up by Umenyiora and Co. as the Falcons revert to their 2011 playoff form. 

Tampa Bay Buccaneers (+3.5) over NEW ORLEANS SAINTS: "Mutiny on the Bounty's what it's all about..." We care so little about this game, we have put out a bounty on Fox if they broadcast it anywhere but Louisiana and Florida. Meanwhile, the Big Easy Bounty was finally been put to bed yesterday by former NFL commissioner Paul Tagliabue who said evidence in the matter was corrupted by coaches. The same has been said about the New Orleans defense all year. The Bucs have not only been spread-covering fools this year, but are 7-2 ATS in their last 9 trips to New Orleans. Take the points and four Josh Freeman touchdowns all the way to the semi-finals of your fantasy league. Just hypothetically. 

                              

Minnesota Vikings (+3.5) at SAINT LOUIS RAMS: The only question in this game is can the Rams stop Adrian Peterson? The short answer is no. And in this case no does not mean maybe with a little pressure and alcohol. Calvin Johnson might be Megatron, but AP has a bionic knee, which coupled with his gluten-free, vegan, low-carb diet has made him this year's MVP front-runner. The Rams are great at home, but the only team they've beaten this year by more than six points is the Arizona Cardinals. That's practically like losing.

Washington Redskins (+7.5) over CLEVELAND BROWNS: This is the line that came out in our pool yesterday. Here's a trend - the UNDER is 10-0-1 in the Browns last 11 December games and 10-2 in the Browns last 12 home games. With those stats, how the hell is either team ever favored by more than a touchdown? Shanny Jr. might not have the RG3 action figure daddy got him last spring, but the Kirk Cousins blow-up doll will suffice against a Browns team whose current three game winning streak has been against Kansas City, Oakland, and the Pittsburgh AARPs.

MIAMI DOLPHINS (-7.5) over Jacksonville Jaguars: What? A home team? Finally, Marco. It's appropriate that The Who Gives a Crap Bowl is taking place in Miami - in honor of the six week layover between the end of the college season and the "playoffs." Apparently empty stadiums are difficult to get fired up in, so Jacksonville will feel right at home in Miami, they just haven't been very good no matter where they play. In a game like this, go with the more consistent defense. Dolphins reign in the Revenge of the Under Water Mascot. 

                              

Denver Broncos (-2.5) over BALTIMORE RAVENS: The fact that Baltimore, who hadn't lost at home for two years prior to the debacle against Pittsburgh two weeks ago, is giving up points to the Denver tells you just how far from grace their defense has fallen. Talk about a team in desperate need of an inspirational game day tragedy. C'mon Ravens fans, do something - otherwise the Functional Neck Gang is going to make it so you have to visit Mile High in January. 

Indianapolis Colts (+8.5) over HOUSTON TEXANS: The Texans have been exposed. Their defense is as depleted as Chuck Pagano's white blood cell count, but its not motivating anyone to do anything. The Colts, on the other hand, keep finding ways to impress their recovering coach and push towards the playoffs. A win on Sunday or a loss by Cincinnati or the Jets and Indianapolis goes to the playoffs. A loss by nine or less and we go on to the afternoon games happy. 

Sunday Afternoon 

Carolina Panthers (+3.5) over SAN DIEGO CHARGERS: I read somewhere that San Diego is the best 5-8 team in NFL history. They will now be the best 5-9 team with that claim. The Chargers have been awesome in December, covering 9 of their last 11 games, while Carolina is a pathetic 1-6 ATS against the AFC West. We know that, Vegas knows that, and we believe this is a line coupled with a stat that is begging us to take the turnover prone Chargers. Not on Marco's watch. 

Seattle Seahawks (-4.5) over BUFFALO BILLS: Last week the Seahawks covered a 55 points spread, so we're feeling pretty good about giving up 4.5 to an inconsistent Buffalo team - especially since the game is being played at the Rogers Centre north of the border and all of TSZ's Canadian followers have promised to go there, tailgate, and cheer on the pointy birds. Besides, the far superior Smarties will replace Marshawn Lynch's Skittles as he runs circles around his former team in a Canadian sugar-induced rage. 

                           

Detroit Lions (-6.5) over ARIZONA CARDINALS: Remember when Arizona was 4-0, leading the NFC West, and looking like a playoff caliber team? Neither do they. In this compelling Who Sucks Worse Against the Spread Championship game, the Lions enter Sunday with a 2-9-1 ATS record in their last 12 road games, while Arizona boasts a 2-6-1 ATS record during their 9 game losing streak. Leshoure bet is to take the Lions. LOL.

Pittsburgh Steelers (-1.5) over DALLAS COWBOYS: The Cowboys, much like the Chiefs before them, used up all their Tragedy Juice last weekend. How are the Cowboys going to beat the Steelers without Dez Bryant? More importantly, how is Dez Bryant beat his mother with a broken finger? Look for sexual assault to reign over physical assault - again - as Rothliesberger finds his stride in Dallas this weekend.

OAKLAND RAIDERS (-2.5) over Kansas City Chiefs: Brady Quinn Medicine Woman reveals why his show as an NFL quarterback is being canceled. The Oakland Raiders reveal that Al Davis is actually still alive and running the team. Although the Chiefs have been awesome Oakland, winning 8 of 9 SU, and the Raiders have been awful there losing 7 of 8, this game between these two terrible teams will probably be won 3-0 on a 97 yard field goal by Sebastian Janikowski. 

Sunday Night Football

NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS (-3.5) over San Francisco Forty Niners: Tom Brady dates a supermodel. Wes Welker dates a Hooters Hotie. Basic principals of mathematics have taught us that Two Hot WAGS do in fact make a right. Plus, New England doesn't lose in December 21-0 SU, Belichick doesn't lose to rookie quarterbacks, and certainly not to his illegitimate love child, Jim Harbaugh. 

                                  

Monday Night Football

TENNESSEE TITANS (-1.5) over New York Jets: The Jets are also going to be -1.5 coaches when Rex Ryan gets suspended for eating Mark Sanchez during a TV time out in yet another Canadian sugar-induced rage. We think ESPN should be allowed to call audibles on Monday Night football games after Week 13, because of games like this one. Hopefully we'll either have clinched our pool or be entirely out of it so we don't have to tune in for any of this game. 

That's all for this week folks. Don't forget to submit your Thursday Threes by tomorrow morning, so I can get them up by the end of the day.

Good night and good luck,

Vinny and Marco

NFL Week 14 Picks ATS: MARCO...SOLO...Fish Out of the Water

Last weekend felt a little like that god-awful childhood game, eyes closed neck deep in water, groping about aimlessly, silently praying that someone, anyone,  would move predictably or just hold still, play some defense, stop a garbage time punt return for crying out loud, or at the very least crumble beneath the emotional weight of a devastating tragedy. Fish out of the water? Nope, even the water-dwelling Dolphins managed to avoid getting beached by the heavily favored Patriots. Honestly, who kicks the field goal first? Regis Philbin's brother, that's who. Here's where we stand after the ill-fated, unlucky Week 13. 

LAST WEEK:  5-11 ATS 

SEASON TO DATE: 103-90 ATS

THURSDAY THREE FAN PICKS: 1-2 ATS / 5-4 ATS on the season

FRIDAY FIVE CONFIDENCE PICKS:2-3 ATS last week, but still 23-12 ATS on the season.

Our Friday Five is now available, just read the link below and send us an e-mail:

http://thespreadzone.blogspot.com/2012/12/friday-five-for-free-pacinos.html

As almost every GM, coach, athlete, or person diagnosed with a degenerative autoimmune disease likes to say, "If you're not getting better, you're getting worse." Marco and I have always embraced this philosophy, which is why - win or lose - we keep seeking out new strategies, new resources, new trends, and ultimately new beginnings. This hybrid of adventurous spirit and fierce determination was born out of necessity, nurtured by adversity, and now feels like a cozy, warm, 1980's, reversible, flannel/suede blazer. 

Years ago, when Marco graduated from high school, unlike most of our clueless peers, he knew exactly what he wanted to do. He planned to travel the world - Norway, Finland, Russia, or anywhere else that had disproportionately long winters. He packed up his clothes, CostCo Top Ramen, and 32 oz. bottle of hair gel (pre 9/11, pre-baldness, post 90210) and headed northeast. Similar to his fatigued, malnourished, immigrant ancestors who planned to settle westward but never made it out of Massachusetts, Marco dreamed of Scandanavia but woke up in Saskatchewan...Canada. Moose Jaw to be exact. 

                                  

With approximately 30,000 Moose Javians, a fancy casino, a geothermal spa, and a large statue of Mac the Moose - it felt like home. It was there, while exploring Al Capone's underground hideout and hub for bootlegging, that Marco discovered many of the principles directly implemented in his extensive formula for successful sports gambling. Or should we say Sports Action, Oddset, Pro-Line, or my own personal favorite Pari Sportif. 

Poorly disguised shout-out to our Canadian followers aside, this story exemplifies the differences between Marco and me, because while he was learning about Prohibition and Probability, I was learning the often less appreciated skills of writing and mathematics. When Marco eventually returned from Canada - five days later - the alchemy of the skills we had acquired during our time apart became an undeniable force. 

Recently reflecting on the years gone by, I suddenly realized the error of our ways. Marco and I had forgotten our roots, our strengths, our wonder twin powers. When I think about it, with the exception of Nintendo 64 World Cup Soccer, Marco has always outdone me when it comes to the world of sports. From Wiffle Ball to Nerf Basketball, fantasy to reality, if Marco's asthmatic and underdeveloped premie lungs don't have him doubled over in pain, then he completely dominates me. When I made the mistake of beating him at tennis once, he promptly took lessons and earned himself a job coaching varsity at the local high school.

Fortunately for him, the job did not require writing or math. In fact, a solid lack of math knowledge makes it much easier to understand tennis. Long story still pretty long, Marco and I are disregarding the old Spread Zone adage that "Friends don't let friends gamble alone," and are seeking to right the ship by finding solace in our strengths. Therefore, it is with great pleasure and without hesitation (on my part), that we present to you our very first Marco Solo: Week 14 Picks Against the Spread. If you're nervous that uncovering our weaker link might bring an untimely end to TSZ as we know it, then you haven't seen Marco's spelling. If you had you'd understand why he invented Twitter. 

Marco Solo: NFL Week 14 Picks ATS 

OAKLAND RAIDERS (+10.5) over Denver Broncos: Uh oh. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. I forgot about Marco's love of sea roving marauders. A closer look, however, reveals an eye-popping statistic that Denver is now a big 0-11 ATS in their last 11 when favored by 8+ points. We knew this two weeks ago when we took the Broncos in Kansas City anyway and paid the fiddler. Fool me once, shame on you, Broncos. On the flip side, the Raiders are 8-2 ATS in their last 10 as a dog of 8+. Apparently, those are the only games they ever get up for. Advantage: Sorry-assed Picaroons with a late, spread-covering safety.

                              

Dallas Cowboys (+2.5) over CINCINNATI BENGALS: Sorry Bengals, the Week of the Cat is over, so you and all the other felines can suck it. Besides, your take down of the Chargers last week cost us a shot at the Canadian Football lottery. You will never be forgiven. Sure you look like a solid bet having covered your last four games while the Dallas Cowboys continue to flop around in relative ATS obscurity having only covered 6 games in their last 20, but a closer look at your pussy cat schedule reveals that the teams you have beaten have a combined record of 28-56. Besides, now that they're back in contention for the NFC East, do you really think the Dallas Cowboys are going to let down the largest fan base in the NFL? Don't answer that.

BUFFALO BILLS (-3.5) over Saint Louis Rams: Jeff Fisher's mustache is always worth a field goal, especially when they're being kicked by Legatron, but Marco feels as though this game is begging us to take the over-valued Rams who who are reaping the ATS rewards of a late turnover at home last week against the Forty Niners. I should have double-checked with my mother-in-law, but come on - a ram against a buffalo? Or are the Bills the guys who ride them? Either way, the Bills should manage to win by a touchdown at home.

Kansas City Chiefs (+5.5) over CLEVELAND BROWNS: A good friend once told me, if you're worried about a joke being too harsh - test it out on Cleveland. That being said, is it too soon to call this The Suicide Bowl? Concussed football players I get, but grounds crew members? Well, it's definitely not too soon to call it the Thank God For Gambling Bowl. Neither the Browns nor the Chiefs have any business being favored by more than a field goal. Cleveland struggles to put up points, scoring less than three touchdowns in seven of their twelve games this year - and three of those were wins. The Browns are 5-1-1 ATS recently against AFC West teams, but I'm betting those were all in the role of the dog. Take the points.

Philadelphia Eagles (+7.5) over TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS: You know this pick is money, because Marco is going against both a privateer and his former number one blind spot. Are the Bucs undervalued after last week's blow out to the Denver Broncos? Maybe, but probably just valued because they are also a team that has struggled in December going 1-8 ATS over the past two years. The Eagles, on the other hand, although it hasn't happened often of late, play the 8+ point underdog well, going 10-2 ATS during Andy Reid's tenure. Nick Foles is getting better, and the Tampa Buccaneer's secondary is not. In a classic, Floridian shootout, we like the bird dogs.

                                 

Tennessee Titans (+5.5) over INDIANAPOLIS COLTS: Five of Indy's eight wins have been by a field goal or less, one was an OT touchdown, and another was a seven point victory against the Buffalo Bills. AL1 has been both lucky and good this year, so we don't see the Colts losing this game, but we do see them driving down the field late for a game-winning field goal or a go-ahead touchdown. If you want stats to support this pick, I'm sorry but we're fresh out. The Colts are actually 7-1 SU and ATS in their last 8 at home but again - I think they've usually been the ones getting the points the last two seasons. Playing a Colts defense a week after the Texans will feel like walking on the moon to Jake Locker, Kendall Wright and Co. One small step for the Titans, one giant leap towards the playoffs for the Colts as they pull out another fourth quarter comeback but fail to cover.

New York Jets (-2.5) over JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS: The Jets suck. The Jags suck. The Jets suck even worse against the Jags (1-6 ATS in their last 7), and the Jags suck more at home than anywhere else. I think I need a Venn Diagram. If Tebow were auditioning for a job in Jacksonville, we might take the Jags, but whether it's McElroy or Sanchez both of the Jets QBs were better than Henne in college, which is where all three of them should have stayed. This game will come down to a Jets secondary which still ranks fourth in the big boy's league known as the NFL.

Atlanta Falcons (-3.5) over CAROLINA PANTHERS: Do we really need to explain this pick? Carolina plays the underdog like the Dallas Cowboys play the favorite. They are 3-17 ATS in their last 20 as a dog, while the Falcons have owned them with an 8-2 ATS record in their last 10 meetings. Also, Carolina hasn't won a single game at home since beating the Saints in week 2. 

                                

WASHINGTON REDSKINS (-2.5) over Baltimore Ravens: Pick of the week! Double down, borrow money from friends, call your parents, sell some shit on Craigslist, and put it all on the Skins. RG3 is so freakin' amazing he is converting fans of every other team in the NFC East because they know it's better to join him than to face the upcoming decade of resentment that will splash off the wake of his absolute dominance in that division. Sure the Ravens have owned the NFC East of late, racking up a 9-2 ATS record since 2004 while Washington is 1-9 SU against the AFC North in that span, but can you say Rex Grossman, Jason Campbell, and Mark Brunell? We can. None of them had cool initials with numbers. Or talent. 

PITTSBURGH STEELERS (-0.5) over San Diego Chargers: We would take Pittsburgh even if a 60 year old Terry Bradshaw were the QB. Plus, we will never pick San Diego to do anything but stay mediocre. They should replace the lightning bolt on their helmets and with a picture of an outlet getting plugged by whoever they play that week. They've only won once in Pittsburgh - EVER - and are 2-7 ATS since 1982. No way, no chance. Whether its Big Ben, Little Richard, Charlie Batch, or Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Chargers lose.

Chicago Bears (-3.5) over MINNESOTA VIKINGS: Brian Urlacher is reportedly out for the rest of the regular season and the Bears have struggled the past two seasons in December losing five straight and covering only once. That being said, however, with the exception of Adrian Peterson, nobody on the Vikings has played very well during any month of any recent year. Minnesota has only won 2 division games over the past three seasons, and although they were probably at home, we see Cutler staying out of the way as the Bears defense does just enough to earn them the 4-0 victory.

Miami Dolphins (+10.5) over SAN FRANCISCO FORTY NINERS: The Dolphins are the Fisher Kings of the Underdogs, going 13-4 ATS in their last 17 in that role. The Forty Niners players are probably even more divided between their quarterback camps after the delicious Kaepernickel Turnover Colin baked up for the St. Louis late in the loss to the Rams last week. The Niners still haven't demonstrated a consistent identity - certainly not enough to give up double digit points against a Philbin coached team. He'll go for two before the touchdown if he has to.

                                      

New Orleans Saints (+6.5) over NEW YORK GIANTS: Watch out NFC playoff contenders, Coughlin just pushed the “can't lose for the rest of the season” button. Unfortunately, he did not push it hard enough to cover the spread this Sunday against an embarrassed Drew Brees and a desperate New Orleans team. Sure Eli's fatigued arm will be plenty to score big against a still suspect Saints defense, but Brees will also be reliving his cheese days in Switzerland as he finds the holes in the Giants secondary. There's very little head-to-head info out there, but the Saints have won and covered five consecutive December games. This is just too many points. 

Arizona Cardinals (+10.5) over SEATTLE SEAHAWKS: In division games with lines of 10+ points, the favorite has gone 2-23 ATS over the last 25. No matter where teams are in the standings, they get up for games like this - especially when they're not expected to. The Cards are terrible on the road (3-17 SU in 20) and Seattle has been pretty good at covering lines of 8+ (7-1-1 in their last 9). Arizona's pass defense is stellar but their run defense not so much. So will the Seahawks keep it on the ground and win? Absolutely. Just not by eleven points. Keep in mind they've only scored 30 once all year. They're offensively challenged, too.

Detroit Lions (+7.5) over GREEN BAY PACKERS: The Detroit Lions have lost 21 straight at Lambeau Field, are 1-13 SU and 3-11 ATS in their last 14 against the Packers, and are 1-8 SU and 0-8-1 ATS in their division. The Packers, meanwhile, are 10-0 SU and 9-1 ATS within their division. So why are we taking the Lions? I don't know, dude. Ask Marco. "Garbage time, back door cover," he says.

                               

NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS (-4.5) over Houston Texans: Houston, we have a problem. And his name is Bill Billichick. No matter how many weapons you take away from him - Gronk down, Edelman out - he just says, "Next man up," or signs a free agent who happens to be waiting around the Pats practice field, hoping for an injury. We're pretty sure Drew Bledsoe has been living in a tent outside Foxborough for 13 years now. New England is an astonishing 19-1 in their last 20 December games. I think that's about as close to a lock as you get. Texans - you're lucky you have that two game lead for home field advantage, because you're about to use up one of them.


So there you have it TSZ readers. Can't wait to hear who your locks of the week are. If you need the outline to participate in our Thursday Three, please click on the link below. Please get those picks in by tonight.

http://www.thespreadzone.blogspot.com/2012/11/the-thursday-cmon-future-spread-zone.html

Fill up the comments section with your thoughts on our picks or your own. We love hearing from you and I'm sure the rest of our readers need all  the crazy-making info they can get as we ascend towards the insanity that is Sacred Sunday.

In the aftermath of our worst week of the season, we were amazed and appreciative of the  supportive and encouraging e-mails we received from TSZ's community. Thank you all and good luck this week.

Vinny and Marco

Daily Reminders:

#1. Coffee Donations: If you appreciate what we're doing here, feel free to buy us a cup of coffee anytime - top right of the page. It takes a lot of caffeine to keep this thing going. Many thanks to those who have donated. It has felt like a warm, delicious compliment every time. Please send us a note, too, so we can make sure to thank you in the next post.

#2. Follow us on Twitter @vinnyandmarco. Spend weekends with Marco in the Twittersphere or feel free to just e-mail us anytime at vinnyandmarco@gmail.com.

#3. Now that we have the support and appreciation of fellow handicappers, we feel like The Spread Zone has as much potential as any free gambling website out there. We always appreciate feedback and suggestions. Like my favorite baseball team likes to say, "Together We're Giant." Look what it did for them.

NFL Week 10 Picks ATS: 11 Road Teams Guaranteed to Cover?

That's right, just a little timely punctuation and a sensationalized, attention-getting, traffic-driving headline becomes nothing more than a inquisitive thought. After last week, however, if NFL handicapping is a test, then our blog is practically the answer sheet. Here's why:

Last Week: 10-4 ATS

Season To Date: 75-58 ATS 

Friday Five Confidence Picks: 13-3 ATS, including a perfect 5-0 last week. 

I tried to find a cool term for winning streak at Urban Dictionary, but somehow ended up at "slutty rampage," which is the promiscuous after-math of a nasty break-up. So to translate, if The Spread Zone had been dating a celibate nun named Sister Breaking Even until four weeks ago, then we're on what gamblers might call a Slutty Rampage. To translate again, that means we're a lucrative 36-19 ATS over the course of the past month of NFL games.

Everyone is saying that the NFL's Week 10 schedule is the type that will separate the Andrew Luck start-up, Internet-blogging handicappers from the RG3 quick-start, fizzle and plan for next year type. Neither Marco nor I went to Stanford, but we're both huge fans of the frozen yogurt at Palo Alto's Cafe Fraiche, so I'm pretty sure we'll be fine.

Remember, if you want to contribute to the cause at The Spread Zone, visit our Coffee for Vinny and Marco Button and send us a macchiato. Thank you. We'll be surprised, excited, and immediately caffeinated when someone actually does this. Please leave us a note, so we know whom to thank.

Now, let's get to work on this alleged tough NFL Week. Winners in bold, HOME TEAMS in CAPS.

Indianapolis Colts -3.5 over JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS: The main flaw with the Colts is their run defense, so with MJD out again this week they will have no weaknesses at all and will hand the struggling Jags their eighth loss in nine games. That's right, we're predicting back-to-back wins for favorites on Thursday Night Football. I'd give you stats, but I feel like most of them would have the smell of Peyton Manning all over them. This one is interesting, though: the UNDER is 7-1 in the Jags past 8 games within their division. 

                             

                                       It's funny now, because it's true.

NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS -11.5 over Buffalo Bills: Remember when the Bills jumped out to a 21-0 against the Pats at home in Week 4? New England came back and won 52-28. Even with Stevan Ridley sharing carries in the backfield, he is poised to have a monster week against one of the worst defenses in the NFL. The Patriots D ranks eighth against the run, which is Buffalo's game, so Fitzpatrick will have to take to the air early again, but some key mistakes will result in another runaway by the Patriots. The Bills are 1-17 SU in recent history against their division rival, and although New England doesn't play well ATS in November (3-11-1 in 15), I'll bet those 3 were coming out of bye weeks. 

New York Giants -4.5 over CINCINNATI BENGALS: Giants are coming in undervalued after the loss last week to Pittsburgh, while the Bengals are merely valued with yet another loss to a prospective playoff team. Cincinnati continues to struggle at home 1-7-1 ATS in their last nine, while the Giants love the road at 8-1 SU and ATS in the same span. With great confidence, we say Eli and his weapons win this one by at least one touchdown.

San Diego Chargers +3.5 over TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS: The Bucs appear to be the most overvalued team coming into Week 10. The Doug Martin hype will take a sabbatical when he slams into the wall that is the Chargers run defense. The Chargers have stats on their side, too, 6-1 SU/ATS in their last 7 with the Bucs, while Tampa Bay has not fared well at home going 2-6 SU/ATS in their last 8. If anyone on the Chargers is a gambler, they'll get the rest of the team fired up about them getting disrespected to the tune of 3.5 points. 

Denver Broncos -3.5 over CAROLINA PANTHERS: Denver is better in every aspect- offense, defense, and special teams. If they don't give their opponents big leads, they're tough to beat. We see Peyton coming out aggressive and forcing Cam to play catch up football. Vince Young comparisons and suicide watches ensue as the Panthers (6-14 ATS in their last 20 at home) fall big to the Broncos who have won and covered their last four as a favorite. 

                             

                                              He's Baaaaack...

MIAMI DOLPHINS -6.5 over Tennessee Titans: The Titans turned the ball over a ton against a great Bears defense, and the Dolphins have the talent to create similar results. Miami has one of the best red zone defenses in the league, making it difficult for a conservative Tennessee offense to score anything more than field goals. Numbers don't favor Miami with their 2-11 SU record in their last 13 against the AFC South, but half of those losses were probably to the Colts and Texans. This is a big line, but Miami only needs one touchdown against an anemic Titans team to cover. Dolphins win 7-0. Okay, maybe 21-6. 

BALTIMORE RAVENS -7.5 over Oakland Raiders: If Doug Martin can run for 250 yds and 4 TDs, what can Ray Rice do? This spells disaster for Oakland, because Baltimore took the bye week to refocus on their strength, which is running the ball. Even though the Raiders are stellar dogs ATS at 12-4 in their last 16 and the Ravens have struggled as a favorite 3-8 in their last 11, when you pit the ATS stats against each other, Baltimore is 8-2 ATS in their last ten against Oakland. Run to the bank on this one, Mr. Rice.

Atlanta Falcons -3.5 over NEW ORLEANS SAINTS: "Let's stop selling the Falcons short," Marco and Vinny said aloud at the same time. Their improved defense and pass-first offense has landed them the best record in the NFL. To top that off, Michael Turner is actually looking capable as a contributing running back. They are extremely well-balanced and tough to beat. New Orleans will be the bandwagon pick of the week, but let's face it, we knew their offense could score but stopping a Philly team in disarray is not preparation for a Falcons team running on all cylinders. Look for the Saints to score in garbage time to make this closer than it should be, but the spread is safe. The only ATS stat that is relevant between these two teams right now is Atlanta's 4-0 record on the road this year.

Detroit Lions -1.5 over MINNESOTA VIKINGS: The Lions are looking like a sleeper for a wild card spot right now. With the receivers playing well along with Mikel Leshoure showing signs of consistency, they're showing glimpses of the offense we got used to last year. It looks like Percy Harvin will be out this week, so put all 11 guys in the box to stop Adrian Peterson and call it a day. The Lions ended a 13 year losing streak in Minny last year, so look for them to build a 2 game winning streak on Sunday. 

New York Jets +6.5 over SEATTLE SEAHAWKS: The Jets are 9-2 ATS coming out of bye weeks, which makes this line is way too big. Even though Marshawn Lynch will have another big day, the Jets will do enough for this to come down to a field goal. Yes, the Seahawks play incredibly well at home - 12-2 ATS in their last 14 - and if this line were 3.5 we might take them. The New York Jets get up for challenges and then lose by less than the Vegas line. If it's not a road upset, we're looking at a 20-17 kind of game with defensive touchdowns scored by both teams. 

                    

Dallas Cowboys +2.5 over PHILADELPHIA EAGLES: As any dog fighter would, Mike Vick wants to make his money from the sidelines. If you can't tell by his comments, look at his play- he wants to ride the bench. The Cowboys need to find ways to score TDs and not settle for field goals, and Romo will rise to the occasion for this rivalry game. The numbers do not support our prediction, but they also don't play on the Philly offensive line. Until those holes are filled, the Eagles 12-2 ATS record and Dallas's 1-9 ATS record against division foes doesn't mean a thing. Especially when the line 2.5.

St. Louis Rams +11.5 over SAN FRANCISCO FORTY NINERS: Fisher always has his guys ready for games against top opponents. Except when playing AFC teams in foreign countries. We blame jet lag. The stats don't support our pick here with the Rams going 3-10 ATS in their last 13 while the Niners are 6-1-1 in their last 8 as a double digit favorite. We just see Jeff out-coaching Jim here just enough to lose by 11 points. We imagine this line will get smaller, so be careful when it creeps under 10.

Houston Texans +1.5 over CHICAGO BEARS: In the November ATS game of the week, the 7-2 November ATS Chicago Bears play the 6-0 November ATS Houston Texans. In these types of match-ups, we generally say take the points, and if the Texans ever get points, you take them. The Bears are overvalued because they put up college football type scoring last week in Tennessee. Houston will control the football and our very biased Cutler-hating money says Grumpy Jay makes a mistake that decides the game. And then he blames it on the smallest guy he can find. Houston rolls, making Texas happy they have at least one playoff bound team.

                           

Kansas City Chiefs +12.5 over PITTSBURGH STEELERS: WWJTWD? What Would Jimmy The Weasel Do? He would take all twelve and a half points to the bank. I know, why would anyone take the Chiefs this year? If you want to find out, buy us that cup of coffee and e-mail me at kidfishman@gmail.com. We have to keep some information from our blog-reading fellow football poolers.

Disclaimer: You can absolutely find our KC-PITT stats on the Internet, just trust our pick for free because we're awesome, or buy us a cup of Joe and still go your own way. We're just trying to have fun with this.

Shamelessly addicted to caffeine and gambling,

Vinny and Marco