By Hook and By Crook

Wild Card Weekend: 3-1 ATS

Playoffs to Date: 4-4 ATS

Season to Date: 143-123 ATS

Now that we've completely digested the heaping pile of humble pie we ate this weekend, it's time to remove the bib, brush off the crumbs, change the tear-soaked Texans Letterman jacket and say, "What the F, Falcons?" Mr. Ryan- getting picked when you had no business throwing the ball. A twenty point lead evaporating in less than a quarter? Did a billy goat-toting Cubs fan visit your locker room? I don't know how anyone picks you to go to the Superbowl, Atlanta. Foreshadowing? More like foreskin. Useless. Totally useless. 

Meanwhile in New England, Houston finally decides to show up in the fourth quarter, but then lets up in the final minute, not giving us gamblers a shot at the back door cover. Admittedly, I was on my way home by then listening to the game on the radio, but what happened to the creed of "Anything can happen." Footballs are made to bounce funny and give teams a fighting chance, so stop throwing the ball up the middle, Schaub. 

Onward and upward, TSZ readers. Onward and upward. Is anyone giving Atlanta or Baltimore a fighting chance? Not Vegas odds makers. Lines opened with New England getting 9.5 points and San Francisco on the road getting 3.5. Should the Niners and Pats save a few bucks by purchasing their tickets to New Orleans early? Should the Ravens and the Falcons book their cruises to the Bahamas for the off-season? Should they all be using ppgtravel.com to ensure the best deals and quality customer service? The answers to all of these questions can be yours in two simple steps.

Step 1: Send us an e-mail at vinnyandmarco@gmail.com letting us know you'd like to hear what we have to say.

Step 2: Anxiously await enlightenment while planning what you're going to do with all the money you win. 

I know we had a rough Divisional Round, but Marco and I have only had one losing streak longer than a week all season. Granted it lasted fourteen weeks, but...

I'm kidding. The divisional weekend was our first sub-par showing since Week 13. Check the earlier posts. Do you really think we would be so popular in Canada if we didn't offer a quality product? 



Okay, fair enough. But what about



and



Plus there's



and of course who could forget...



Need I say more?

Just two simple steps, dear readers, and you will get VIP treatment at The Spread Zone for life. It will like when you followed Alanis Morissette around Ontario before "Jagged Little Pill," came out, and even better than that Ryan Reynold's fan club you VPed when he was just little known Billy Simpson. When we finally do go global, you'll be able to say, "Yeah, I totally knew those guys before way before they didn't deserve all the attention they're getting."

It will feel awesome.

So, send us an e-mail and join the community to get our AFC and NFC Championship game locks. The picks might not be right, but the presentation will be phenomenal.

TSZ Welcomes: This might take awhile, but Marco and I made a commitment to our growing fan base not to let fame change us. That being said, we'd like to take a moment to welcome all of the new readers who sent us e-mails last week asking for and receiving our very disappointing divisional round picks. Sorry everyone, but welcome nonetheless to: Brian A., Robert J., Ken McG., Harj, Nazeer, Jay Y., Archibald, Michael M., Daniel, Brian K., Darrel K., Sam S., Rommel, Dallas, Cindy, Breezie, Ellen, Sunil, HL from Toronto, James I., Epic Joe, and of course Mr. The Shark. I hope I didn't leave anyone out.

Coffee Thank You's: One of our oldest and dearest fans, John M., has managed to time his coffee donations throughout the year perfectly. Just when we think TSZ is doomed to mediocrity after a dismal 1-3 ATS weekend, coffee arrives in our living room courtesy of a human being we believe is never a prisoner of the moment. Thanks, John. Like we said before, if we ever make a TSZ t-shirt - yours is on the house.

Good luck TSZ Readers.

May the Spread Be with You,

Vinny and Marco