Season Total to Date: 142-120 ATS
Side Bet with My Mother-in-law: 0-1 SU
That last category made the Seahawks ("pointy birds") Redskins game a bitter pill to swallow. Thank lower case god I have an avenue of catharsis here at TSZ otherwise I might still be fuming about the fourth quarter knock at my back door followed by the Pointy Bird Victory Dance I had to witness while trying to conduct a venting conversation with Marco.
Let me set the scene a little by reminding you that at the beginning of the season my animal communicating mother-in-law boldly predicted that this was going to be The Year of the Bird. Ravens told her to buy the house she currently lives in, so naturally she loves Baltimore, but for some reason she's a Seahawks fan above all else. So, when Sunday afternoon rolled around and we had Washington, it seemed like a great idea to place a side wager with her for lunch out this week.
Two drives into the first quarter of the game and a 14-0 lead, and a good idea had turned into a great idea. Another foolishly aggressive move by RG3 in the second quarter where he put his body at risk for an additional yard or two, and the great idea started to fade. By halftime, with the Skins clinging to their I just started to root for a field goal shootout that would keep the game at -1 or +2. We would win our bet, she would win hers, and I would be able to tolerate the victory dance I knew I would have to witness if I lost.
I should add that more than bad losers, I hate bad winners. I'd rather hear someone complain their wound hurts than watch someone else rub salt in it. That's just me. Yes, I'm very competitive. So yes, I love winning and I hate losing, but I was raised to be gracious in victory and defeat. Act like you've been there before, say good game, or at least give your son-in-law until the end of the game to process the fact that - lunch bet aside - he just lost an important one-game lead in the playoff race of his football pool.
Am I disappointed in 3-1? No way. That's a solid start to the playoffs. I'm proud of Marco, and prouder to have been able to provide such solid picks to hundreds of readers? Absolutely. With five minutes left in the fourth quarter, however, and RG3 collapsed on the ground having just given the ball back to Seattle on his own four yard line, I quickly raced next door to my mother-in-law's, popped my head in and said, "Hey, I'm just going to say congratulations now, because I'm not ready for the victory dance, okay? We'll do lunch on Tuesday."
Like much of what humans say to her, my words went in one ear and out the other, because after the Seahawks converted the turnover into a field goal, I received a reciprocal knock on my door followed by the Bangles Walk Like an Egyptian Pointy Birds Dance. Really? Yes, really. I'm proud of her that both of her Pointy Birds teams (Seattle and Atlanta) have now made it to the divisional round, but I'm excited that there will be one less of them a week from today.
Now that I'm done being a bad loser, let's get to Sunday's Lost Headlines.
Mike's Old Shanahanigans Doom Redskins
With Baby Shanahan's RG3 Blow up Doll banged up with a boo boo, Daddy really should have rolled with Kirk Cousins from the outset rather than throwing him to the wolves after Griffin fumbled the game away on a bad snap and worse knee. At least that's what this Washington Redskins backer thinks. I know every retired football playing analyst on ESPN named Trent Dilfer disagrees with me, but his 2000 Super Bowl winning Ravens team relied almost exclusively on defense. He could have played in a wheelchair during those playoffs and the Ravens would've rolled. In fact, I believe his offense only put up twenty points during the entire Super Bowl run, so let's hear from a QB whose team actually needed one.
Colts Try to Reclaim Mojo Through OC's Sudden Illness
In what most consider an obvious case of pre-game tactics, the Indianapolis Colts coaching staff appears to have row sham bow-ed during their final pre-game meeting to determine who was going to have to play sick next. Offensive coordinator Bruce Arians rowed when he should have shammed and ended up being whisked away to a local Baltimore hospital until his fake blood pressure issues stabilize. Other theories floating around are that Arians fell ill to a sudden case of jealousy that he'd led the Colts the playoffs and then had his job taken back by Chuck Strong or that QB Coach Clyde Christensen resorted to poisoning in order to get his old job back for the day. Whatever the case, alleged retirement of seventeen year veteran Ray Lewis trumped all as the Ravens trumped the Colts.
That's all for now TSZ readers. Marco and I have our picks stoking in the fire right now, and they should be blazing hot and ready to go by Wednesday.
Peace out,
Vinny and Marco
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