NFL Picks Week 17: Locks in Socks and Socks on Fox...

'Twas the week after Christmas and all through the world
NFL fans in fetal positions were curled.
The stock they'd invested in pre-season hopes
Were now - for some teams - as they say "on the ropes."



For others it's seeding, a bye, or home field,
but mostly the teams' fates are already sealed.
Nonetheless we persist and we sort through the mess
And bring yule tide wishes and picks ATS.

Which games are important? Which teams give a shit?
Will Romo or Rodgers start Sunday or sit?
Will teams with no hope like the Falcons and Bucs
come out and play hard or will they just sucks?


"Sounds like a win-win situation to me, Aaron."

And what about those on the post-season brink?
Or the teams like the Texans who chronically stink?
Or teams like the Chiefs who win, lose, or suck
are heading to Indy to play Andrew Luck?

Well my dear gamblers, relax - have no fear.
The answers to all of these questions lie here.
We offer you this with both pride and with moxy -
our Week 17: Sixteen Guaranteed Locksies.



Let's start in Atlanta where Falcons take flight
after showing some heart in SF Monday Night,
The Panthers are coming to town for the day,
but taking the home dog and points is the play.


Pick: ATLANTA FALCONS (+6.5)

The Bears will be hosting the Packers this week,
and Rodgers or not, their prospects looks bleak.
Eddie Lacy will give the Bears all they can handle,
their D has more leaks than a Watergate scandal.


Pick: Green Bay Packers (-3)

The Texans have locked up the Clowney Sweepstakes,
so now they can finally do what it takes
to summon the strength, to rise from the dead,
and do just enough to cover a spread.


Pick: Houston Texans (+7)

It's hard to believe that a Steeler win here
Still holds a slight glimmer of post-season cheer,
We think that they get what they need to get in,
but sadly the teams right above them both win.


Pick: PITTSBURGH STEELERS (-7)

In New York the bad Giants will host the worse 'Skins
as Manning tries hard to repent for his sins.
Twenty-six INTs in a mere fifteen games,
and Sunday will surely see more of the same.


Pick: Washington Redskins (+3.5)

The Bengals will add one more signature stamp
by ending the run of a Super Bowl champ.
They're 7-0 when at home they do play,
and winning this week could keep it that way.


Pick: CINCINNATI BENGALS (-6)

The Colts host the Jags in a meaningless game,
While the Lions and Vikings will do just the same,
and in order to watch them you'll lots of liquor,
please take the points or you'll end up much sicker.


Pick: Jacksonville Jaguars (+11.5)


Pick: Detroit Lions (+3)

The Dolphins at home used to be a bad bet,
but this year they're playing the best they have yet,
and as to the Jets on the road, I'm not sold -
I believe like a card table does they will fold.


Pick: MIAMI DOLPHINS (-6.5)

The NFC East has a treat for us all,
as Dally plays Philly which plays Kelly Ball.
It's for all of the marbles, the whole enchilada,
The Eagles say, "Thanks," and the Boys say, "De nada."


Pick: Philadelphia Eagles (-6.5)

And still farther east to the Patriots home,
that land of the free where the Buffalo roam,
the Bills finish strong like they came out the gate,
losing their season finale by eight.


Pick: Buffalo Bills (+9.5)

Drew Brees and the Saints will be glad to be home,
in the climate-controlled, softy-pants Superdome.
The Bucs will play hard but they won't make our picks,
Losing this game by at least twenty-six.


Pick: NEW ORLEANS -12.5

For Denver, my friends, this game's do or die,
They need the home field and that sweet first round bye,
They'll race to a lead, but won't mail it in -
They'll take both the cover and seed-clinching win.



Pick: Denver Broncos (-12.5)

And life in the NFC West is plain rough
Where winning 10 plus games might not be enough,
to make the post-season it's sad but it's true,
and that is exactly what AZ will do.


Pick: ARIZONA CARDINALS (+1.5)

The Chargers still think it would be oh so cool,
to make a small splash in the post-season pool,
but even if KC rests 53 men,
we still like the Chiefs to stay within ten.


Pick: Kansas City Chiefs (+9.5)

And finally up in the northwestern states
where the fans get real loud and they all knew Bill Gates,
The Seahawks will win but the Rams they will hover,
and Jeff Fisher's mustache will get us the cover.


Pick: St. Louis Rams (+10.5)

And so take these picks with a large grain of salt,
and know if you lose that it isn't our fault.
You may think this poem is plain stupid or funny,
but we hope it brings all of us lots of money.


May the Spreads Be with You All,

Vinny and Marco

Reminders

1. Light up the comments section if you think we're right, wrong, or crazy.

2. If you're interested in our Friday Five confidence picks which have gone 11-3-1 ATS the past three weeks, please hit the Coffee for Vinny and Marco, donate a cup of Joe, then write to us at: vinnyandmarco@gmail.com and let us know you'd like to see our Friday Five.

3. If you're not interested in our Friday Five and just want to buy us a cup of coffee, feel free to do so anytime but also let us know so we can send you a shout out in the next post.

Happy Holidays Everyone