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Friday, February 1, 2013

Super Bowl XLHARBAUGHVII Pick and Predictions

"This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends 
Not with a bang but a whimper."

--Best Friend Paul at his high school graduation

--Also some guy named T.S. Elliott concerning post-World War I Europe under the Treaty of Versaille

--And now yours truly with regards to the long, drawn out, two week prelude to the NFL finale.

Going from sixteen games a week with playoff implications to back-to-back, high powered, Wild Card and Divisional Rounds to meaningful Conference Championships to...thirteen and a half days of analysis, interviews, subplots, side stories, allegations, favorite road foods of third string players is painfully anti-climactic. 

Even the story implicating Ray Lewis for using a banned substance seemed hollow in comparison the emergence of another A-Rod scandal. Besides, unlike the Yankee slugger, Lewis was honest and forthright in his press conference saying, "This is a two year-old story. I'm not afraid to be candid because I have nothing to hide. If y'all have questions, I have antlers...


Umm...I mean answers."

Nonetheless, Marco and finish the things we start, so before we sail off into the off-season to rehab our ailing brains and keyboarding callouses, let us leave you with a final and definitive prediction for Super XLVII.

San Francisco Forty Niners (-3.5) vs Baltimore Ravens (+3.5)

It is no secret I was brainwashed as a child by my father to love all teams Los Angeles. When the Rams made Super Bowl XIV in 1980 an eighth grader initiated me into the world of gambling by taking the Pittsburgh Steelers and giving me 11 points. The line was 10.5, so it sounded like a solid bet to this naive fourth grader. Monday morning after the Rams lost 31-19, I lost my lunch money and became a Niner fan just in time to watch their rise to greatness. 

Now, 32 years later, with San Francisco's return to prominence, Marco and I were excited about Bay Area football again. Jim Harbaugh seemed like a no-nonsense guy, a player's coach, and most of all a guy who stuck by his quarterback and gave him the opportunity to thrive after enduring seven offensive coordinators and countless head coaching changes. Alex Smith responded, leading the Niners to a 13-3 record and two special teams foibles away from the Super Bowl.

This season Smith picked up where he left off, leading the league in QBR and leading San Francisco to a 6-2 start before getting knocked out of a game with a concussion in Week 9. Then came "The Decision: Football Edition" sans LeBron but with plenty of drama when Coach Harbaugh stuck with his second-year, back-up quarterback Colin Kaepernick even after Smith had fully recovered.



For some reason Harbaugh's decision, although risky and courageous, bothered me. I lost interest in the Niners, I rooted for Kaepernick to fail, I wanted to see what coach would do when his little QB project no longer had "the hot hand." At one point I even told Marco, "I'm just going to root for whichever team picks up Smith," secretly hoping it would be the Arizona Cardinals and that Smith would prove to the world that he is more than just a pedestrian, system QB, winning multiple division titles over a Niner team that slides back into NFL obscurity. Yes, my hypotheticals get very involved sometimes.

Yesterday, I realized I was being more childish than Jim Harbaugh during a...well, during everything. If I'm really an Alex Smith fan, I should be thrilled for him that he earned 3.5 million dollars the second half of the season for holding a clipboard and being out of harms way. If I start basing my fanaticism on coaching moves, I'll probably lose the Lakers and the San Francisco Giants (actually Bochy never makes mistakes) by 2014. That being said, here's how Marco and I see things going down.

The Baltimore Ravens will come out firing on all cylinders. Much like Atlanta they will likely jump out to a 17-0 lead early in the second quarter. Kaepernick will struggle, but more because his nervous receivers won't be able to handles his lightening passes. The running game will be stalled by superb Ravens defense, while Ray Rice will catch short passes and run the ball effectively, setting up the longer connections between Flacco, Smith, Jones, and Boldin.

By the second quarter, Kaepernick will try to take the game over with his legs. Unfortunately, deer antler not only has healing powers but allows Ray Lewis to keep up with gazelle-like creatures such and Kaepy and Ray-Ray will demolish him has he tries to get "an extra few yards" - which is the new definition of Griffining by the way. Much like Griffin, Kaepernick will hobble away and come out of the game a few plays later.

Enter Alex Smith. First huddle, he leans in and says, "Alright guys, let's make like Pink and get this party started." The Niners score 14 unanswered points as Smith uses his effective short passing game to compliment the emergence of the run game. In the third quarter, the Niners take their first lead, but the Ravens take it right back. The fourth quarter is a defensive battle for the ages, and the Niners manage to tie the game with less than five minutes left.



Baltimore returns the kick-off to the forty yard line, but can't manage to get a first down, giving the Niners the ball back on their fifteen with just under three minutes to play. Alex Smith's precision passing and Houdini acts in the pocket allow him to drive the Niners down to the Ravens twenty yard line with fifteen seconds and one time out. The Ravens are out of time outs, so the obvious play becomes a run up the gut, a time out, and a game winning field goal. Instead, Alex Smith calls an audible. Harbaugh looks horrified on the sideline. Smith rolls out of the pocket. The defense closes in on him. He ducks one defender, spins around another, he finds his target and throws the ball as hard as he can...



right into Jim Harbaugh's face.

Half smiling at the blood spurting from Jim's nose, Smith turns to the ref, calls a time out, and jogs off the field to join his teammates as they watch David Akers kick a 37 yard, game-winning field goal.

Straight Up Pick: San Francisco Forty Niners 27-24

ATS Pick: Baltimore Ravens

Thanks again to all of the readers who made TSZ such a positive experience. We hope we can count on all of you to come and visit our website when we relocate during the off-season.

May the Spread Be With You All,

Vinny and Marco






4 comments:

  1. Baltimore 17-14.

    Mysterio

    ReplyDelete
  2. This is crazy, I've been telling my friends the same thing for the past two weeks. I have Kaepernick getting hurt in the second half and Smith comes into save the Superbowl...and wins the MVP (i know that's a stretch). I have the 49ers covering the spread on the last drive of the game. Last year's highly successful combo of Smith to Davis will once again come through.

    49ers win 27-23...and yes i have the over too!

    WBB

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What's up WBB? Great minds think alike. We almost had a 28-24 Niner cover, but we decided to be bipartisan in my fantasy world. Enjoy the weekend and thanks for your help this season.

      Vinny and Marco

      Delete
  3. Check that....21-17 Ravens.

    Mysterio

    ReplyDelete